Computer Problems

Tech support:  What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer:  A white one...
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Tech support:  Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:  Your left or my left?
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Customer:  Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.  I've even lifted the printer and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't
find it...
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Customer:  I have problems printing in red...
Tech support:  Do you have a colour printer?
Customer:  Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support:  What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:   A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer:  My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:  Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:  No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:  Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:   OK
Tech support:  Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer:  Yes, there's another one here. Ah..that one does work...
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Tech support:  Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a
capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer:  Is that 7 in capital letters?
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Customer:  can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:  Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:  Five stars.
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Tech support:  What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:  Netscape.
Tech support:  That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:  Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer:   I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support:  How may I help you?
Customer:  I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support:  OK,  and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:  Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get
the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:  Are you running it under windows?
Customer:  "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine."
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And last but not least...
Tech support:Okay Bob , let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer:  I don't have a P.
Tech support::  On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:  What do you mean?
Tech support:  "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!