Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Thursday, February 11, 2010

World Apology Tour a Success!

It is plain for all to see that the "World Apology Tour" has made us new friends around the globe.

Lazy Dog

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Monday, February 01, 2010


Please try to understand where I am coming from and don't label me as "racist". I have NOTHING against Hispanics or any other race. I DO have a problem with the behavior parodied here. This is a behavior thing, not a race thing.

Dear President Obama:

I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. Into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.

4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put U S. Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.

14. I want to receive free food stamps.

15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.

16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.

17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.

18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U..S. From Mexico . I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help. You're the man!!!


Job's Final Protest of Innocence

I read Job 31 tonight. The title for this chapter, in the New Living Translation, is "Job's Final Protest of Innocence." As I read Job, I get upset with Job's so-called friends and their "advice" to Job. Why is it that we as humans (or worse yet, as Christians) are so quick to assume God's judgement on somebody else?

What caught my attention as I was reading this chapter and thinking back on Job's defense was his confidence before the Lord in the midst of this attack. If stuff like that was happening to me, the first thing I would do is ask God what I was doing wrong! But Job lived a life of integrity before the Lord. Job 1:1 - "There once was a man named Job who lived in the land of Uz. He was blameless--a man of complete integrity." (New Living Translation)

Now I know later in the book God calls Job on the carpet and gives him the "Look here buddy. Exactly who do you think you are to expect me to justify myself to you?" speech, but even that does not impugn Job's integrity.

And that brings me back to the most perplexing or disturbing aspect of this story (at least for me). Job was such a man of integrity that God bragged on him to the devil knowing what the devil's response would be and knowing what He was going to say in turn.

After reading about what a man of integrity Job was and pondering all that happened to him, my prayer is, "God, I want to make you proud of me like you were proud of Job...but maybe not so proud that you want to brag on me!"