Friday, August 21, 2009

Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.

As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I'm entering!" said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"

"First Place!," said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman. After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"

"First Place ," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"

So Pinocchio enters.

After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.

"Oh, What happened?" they asked.

"Who is Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I'm Tired

I'm Tired"
By Robert A. Hall

(Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts State Senate.)

I'll be 63 soon. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce, and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked, hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired.

I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth around" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy or stupid to earn it.


I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help. But if they bought Mc Mansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left-wing Congress-critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them with their own money.


I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros, and Hollywood entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the economy of Zimbabwe , the freedom of the press of China , the crime and violence of Mexico , the tolerance for Christian people of Iran , and the freedom of speech of Venezuela . Won't multiculturalism be beautiful?


I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to.


I believe "a man should be judged by the content of his character, not by the color of his skin." I'm tired of being told that "race doesn't matter" in the post-racial world of Obama, when it's all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of US Senators from Illinois.


I think it's very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the emancipation proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less arrogantly of an all-knowing government
.

I'm tired of a news media that thinks Bush's fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama's, at triple the cost, were wonderful; that thinks Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress; that picked over every line of Bush's military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his; that slammed Palin, with two years as governor, for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever. Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions or switching to Fox News? Get a clue. I didn't vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004.


I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America , while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue, or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.


I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you re green enough.


I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don't think Gay people choose to be Gay {writer's opinion}, but I sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I'm tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana.


I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who aren't working, but are living on welfare or crime. What's next? Calling drug dealers, Undocumented Pharmacists"? And, no, I'm not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic, and it's been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion. I'm willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person, who can speak English, doesn't have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military... Those are the citizens we need.


I'm tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people than themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years-and still are? Not even close. So here's the deal. I'll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian. Then we'll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear.


I'm tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers-bums are bipartisan. And I'm tired of people telling me we need bipartisanship. I live in Illinois , where the " Illinois Combine" of Democrats has worked to loot the public for years. Not to mention the tax cheats in Obama's cabinet as well.


I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers, and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.


Speaking of poor, I'm tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn't have that in 1970, but we didn't know we were "poor." The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.


I'm real tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination, or big-whatever for their problems.


Yes, I'm tired. But I'm also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my granddaughter.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

12 of 12 - August 2009

The Basic Idea: 12 pictures of your life on the 12th of each month. I decided to try and use my cell phone this month. Although I LOVE my new smartphone which I received for Father's Day, I have not been real impressed with the pictures it takes. I was happy today when I imported my pictures into Google's Picasa 3 as it cleaned up the pictures VERY nicely. I was not so happy when I found out that I accidentally changed the picture settings on my phone to very tiny 320x240 pictures! Oh well, here's my small pictures from August.

01 - Starting the morning off right. Those eggs are almost pretty enough to be in a picture.


02 - Luck me...August 12 Tarrant Country jury duty. I was fortunate as the trial I was assigned to got dismissed as soon as the jury was assigned. Went to pick up my $6 and was outa there by 10:30am.


03 - See the little poles and straps for the lines of people? When we were told to line up, I started down my end. I looked up and saw people coming in from the other end as well. I paused to make sure I was going through the right way when this lady behind me said "Excuse me. Are you walking?" All I could come up with was, "I'm working on it", but I really wanted to reply with the same "kind" tone she was using and say, "Look, lady. I'm not sure what you are in such a hurry for. It's not like we're going to miss standing in line if we don't run to take our place. But if you're in such an all-fire hurry, but all means, go in front of me!" ('I'm working on it' probably sounded more Christ-like, but I don't think I get credit for that based on what went though my mind and what I really wanted to say to the pushy old lady).


04 - Amanda's been doing two math sheets each morning to be all refreshed and ready or the school year. She's working on reducing and improper fractions here.


05 - Every Wednesday I have lunch with my friend, George. It's one of the highlights of my week.


06 - Operation Backpack was this Saturday. I was getting everything ready.


07 - Pastor Philip's dog, Ranger was visiting for the week. Here he is sitting on the couch with Sully.


08 - Ranger's handiwork.


09 - Birthday Dog! It was Boo's 8th birthday.


10 - Although it may look more like a head lock, Brooke was actually loving on Sully trying to help him feel better. He was a bit insecure with Ranger being at the house...he wasn't quite sure where he fell in the pecking order.


11 - Ranger at the dog park playing with a new friend.


12 - Ranger worn out at the end of the day after meeting EVERY SINGLE DOG and trying to wrestle with them at the dog park.

12 of 12 - July 2009

The Basic Idea: 12 pictures of your life on the 12th of each month. Here's my July. We were in Alabama visiting Brooke's family on the way back from the Liberty Family summer conference in Lake Junaluska, NC.

01 - Amanda playing in MawMaw Brenda's closet. It was hot in there, but she didn't seem to notice.


02 - There was a surprise 70th birthday party for Brooke's Dad at the church. Friends and family were there to celebrate with him.


03 - Here's the golf cart that was on the birthday cake...they got it off before I could take a picture.


04 - Dad's surprise birthday party. Here he is next to his sister, Judy and son, Scott, taking the picture.


05 - Brooke and her sister, Jill, serving at the party.


06 - My nephew, David, is now driving.


07 - Amanda with cousins Hannah and David.


08 - Brooke with her Momma. I have always told Brooke if she looks as good as her Momma when she is her Momma's age, I'll always have a good-looking wife.


09 - Me and the wife of my youth!


10 - Showing off the "Bartholomew good looks"! This is Brooke's brother, Scott (who made a surprise visit for Dad's birthday), her Mom, Brenda...and Brooke.


11 - The Bartholomew Clan - Jill (middle child), Scott (oldest), Brenda, Bill and Brooke (only one under 40)


12 - Brooke's sister, Jill, and her fiance, David Bartlett. David proposed to her while we were there (they were married August 15th).

Sunday, August 09, 2009

12 of 12 - June 2009

I can't seem to find online who actually started 12 of 12, but the idea is to take pictures on the 12th of every month and then choose 12 to "keep". At the end of the year, you have your year at a glance. Here is my (late to post) June 12 of 12.

8:21am - Advertisement on the wall in the church foyer for VBS which ended on Friday, June 12th.


8:23am - Sanctuary decorations for VBS.


9:24am - Games at VBS morning rally.


9:58am - This is one of the things I do at VBS...head up clean up!


11:46am - Closing rally at VBS

12:02pm - Another one of the things I do at VBS...music and video


12:29pm - Pastor Matt "taking one for the team"


12:29pm - Miss Victoria. Kids who brought the most food for the food pantry drive during week got to throw a cream pie in their teacher's face.


12:33pm - Some of the week's VBS leaders in front of the giant water slide.


5:50pm - Yes, closing day of VBS was also our anniversary. Amanda made us a card.


5:51pm - June 12, 2009. The day we all (finally) switched over to digital TV. We have AT&T U-Verse so we didn't have to do anything different.


6:00pm - Amanda ended up running a fever today so our plans for her to spend the night at a friend's house for our anniversary changed. Instead, we had a "romantic" family dinner of Long John Silver's at home.

12 of 12 - May 2009

This month's 12 of 12 actually took place "on or around" May 12th. I left to visit my best friend and roommate from college, Craig, in Michigan on the 12th. These pictures began on the 12th and continued through the time I was with Craig.

01 - Leaving from DFW


02 - Amanda seeing me off at the airport


03 - Amanda gave me this little Zebra to take with me on my trip. She wanted me to take pictures with him in it while I was gone. Here is his picture next to the Sky Mall magazine on the plane.


04 - This is the Macinac Bridge. Pretty cool because I saw an episode of Dirty Jobs where they serviced this bridge. Imagine changing the bulb on the light at the top of this bridge!


05 - Here is Zebra sitting on the shore of one of the Great Lakes. The Macinac Bridge is in the background.


06 - This is Craig's church...New Horizon's Church of the Nazarene in Pickford, Michigan.


07 - It was Teen Service week when I was there. This is Pastor Craig using his Sylvester Stalone accent with one of his youth who talked with an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.


08 - BIG MEN. This is me and my best friend, Craig.


09 - This is Zebra at some sand dunes we found while geocaching.


10 - Craig and Kaylee at the bottom of a big sand dune.


11 - Zebra with a geocache we found.


12 - Kaylee finding a geocache.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

I Don't Drink Beer

I guess this isn't funny if you don't know the Steven Curtis Chapman song it is a parody of, but I think it's hilarious!

Becoming a Grown Up

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice - that is, until we have stopped saying "It got lost" and say, "I lost it."

- Sydney J. Harris (1917 - 1986)