Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Thursday, October 06, 2011
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Day 991 of my captivity: Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Idiots!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Day 997 of my captivity: Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe, for now..........
Monday, August 15, 2011
I don't know WHY I didn’t figure this out sooner. It’s the shampoo I use in the shower!
When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and (duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,
*FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY!*
NO wonder I have been gaining weight!!!
Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start using Dawn dish soap instead.
Their label reads,
*DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE*.
Friday, August 05, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Welcome to God at the Movies, a three week sermon series beginning today. Jesus was a story teller and he used stories to help people understand truths about the Kingdom of God. In our generation, story telling often takes place at the movies so, over the next three weeks, we will be using story lines and scenes from recent movies to help us understand God’s truth today. The movies are not “religious” or trying to communicate a religious message...they are merely stories of our time that can be used to illustrate truths from God’s Word.
Illustrations for today’s message are taken from the movie 127 Hours. If you are familiar with the real-life story behind this movie, you know it’s a pretty shocking story...and that’s precisely why we are referring to it today. We often like to quote Jesus when he said things like “Love your neighbor” and “judge not lest you be judged”, but sometimes we forget that Jesus called people to do some pretty radical things. Jesus was killed because of what he taught, and today we’re looking at one of the less tame teachings of Jesus.
For those of you who like it a little more tame, next week Pastor Philip’s message will be illustrated with the movie Tangled and will be kid-friendly as our children will be staying with the adults during the sermon. Then our series will conclude on August 7th with Pastor Matt using the movie Tron Legacy.
We are going to have a great time and I hope you can join us for the whole series. Be sure to pick up a bag of popcorn on your way out today and be sure to invite a friend next Sunday!
(This post comes from the Pastor's Note column in Sunday's bulletin, 07-24-11)
Friday, July 15, 2011
Today I cashed in my Father's Day present and got my two hour private shooting lesson with Daryl Parker from Top Shot, Season 2. I learned a lot and had a blast (literally...but more about that later). There was nobody else there besides Daryl and me, so I only got the one picture. Getting just one picture was the only thing I regretted.