Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Taliban Warns U.S. on Arizona Law

This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan , the Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed (Mo) Jihad Islam, warned the United States that if Arizona 's Immigration Law is not repealed, Taliban authorities intend to cut off America 's supply of convenience store managers and possibly Motel 6 and Super 8 managers.

And, if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by DELL and AOL customer service reps.

Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened not to send us any more candidates for president of the United States!

You Might Be a Redneck If...

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God.'

You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'

You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.

You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.

You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.

You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Made Me Laugh

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."

Adam said, "Gladly ,Lord, what do You want me to do?"

God said, "Go down into that valley."

Adam said, "What's a valley?"

God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river."

Adam said, "What's a river?"

God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill...."

Adam said, "What is a hill?"

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."

Adam said, 'What's a cave?'

After God explained, He said, "In the cave you will find a woman."

Adam said, "What's a woman?'

So God explained that to him, too. Then, God said, 'I want you to reproduce."

Adam said, "How do I do that?"

God first said (under His breath), "Really?" And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.

Then, in about five minutes, he was back.

God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"

And Adam said....

"What's a headache?"

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Thursday, September 09, 2010

No Ground Zero Mosque

Statement on the Proposed “Cordoba House” Mosque near Ground Zero

Newt Gingrich

July 21, 2010 6pm

There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi Arabia. The time for double standards that allow Islamists to behave aggressively toward us while they demand our weakness and submission is over.

The proposed "Cordoba House" overlooking the World Trade Center site – where a group of jihadists killed over 3000 Americans and destroyed one of our most famous landmarks - is a test of the timidity, passivity and historic ignorance of American elites. For example, most of them don’t understand that “Cordoba House” is a deliberately insulting term. It refers to Cordoba, Spain – the capital of Muslim conquerors who symbolized their victory over the Christian Spaniards by transforming a church there into the world’s third-largest mosque complex.

Today, some of the Mosque’s backers insist this term is being used to "symbolize interfaith cooperation" when, in fact, every Islamist in the world recognizes Cordoba as a symbol of Islamic conquest. It is a sign of their contempt for Americans and their confidence in our historic ignorance that they would deliberately insult us this way. Those Islamists and their apologists who argue for "religious toleration" are arrogantly dishonest. They ignore the fact that more than 100 mosques already exist in New York City. Meanwhile, there are no churches or synagogues in all of Saudi Arabia. In fact no Christian or Jew can even enter Mecca. And they lecture us about tolerance.

If the people behind the Cordoba House were serious about religious toleration, they would be imploring the Saudis, as fellow Muslims, to immediately open up Mecca to all and immediately announce their intention to allow non-Muslim houses of worship in the Kingdom. They should be asked by the news media if they would be willing to lead such a campaign.

We have not been able to rebuild the World Trade Center in nine years. Now we are being told a 13 story, $100 million megamosque will be built within a year overlooking the site of the most devastating surprise attack in American history.

Finally where is the money coming from? The people behind the Cordoba House refuse to reveal all their funding sources. America is experiencing an Islamist cultural-political offensive designed to undermine and destroy our civilization. Sadly, too many of our elites are the willing apologists for those who would destroy them if they could. No mosque.

No self deception.

No surrender.

The time to take a stand is now - at this site: on this issue.

(Please don't forward this story, or any other, via email unless you have check out that it is true. Here is a link to Snopes which says the story is true and sites the source they used to verify it.)

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Pick Up, Amanda!

I was at work today and Amanda called me on Skype (we live in the church parsonage so she was literally next door, we have no home phone, Amanda's cell phone is pre-paid and so Skype is cheaper).

"Dad, did you just call me on your old cell phone?"

"No, sweetheart. I did not call. The phone is turned off and nobody can call it."

"But Dad, it rang twice. There was a message that said, 'Pick up, Amanda'. I thought you were trying to call me."

"Amanda, the phone was turned off when I got my new cell phone. Nobody can call."

"Dad! There were two messages that said, 'Pick up, Amanda.' One was from yesterday and one was from today."

"Amanda, I use the checkbook on that phone and it automatically updates my calendar. Maybe you were seeing some kind of calendar reminder."

"No, Dad! It was a message that said, 'Pick up, Amanda'" (Amanda was pretty freaked out by the personal nature of the message to her, and the more I told her it was not me, the more worried she became).

Finally, the light dawned on me. "Oh, Amanda. Sweetheart, I put "Pick Up Amanda" on my calendar for yesterday and today because Mommy was out of town and I was picking you up from school. Those were calendar reminders that I had set up for the "Pick Up Amanda" events on my calendar!"