Thursday, September 10, 2009
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Southerners Are So Polite!
Atlanta Air Traffic Control (ATC): "Tower to Saudi Air 911 - You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R."
Saudi Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. Allah be praised.
Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 712 - You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."
Iran Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. Allah is great.
Pause . . .
Static . . .
Saudi Air: "ATLANTA ATC!! ATLANTA ATC!!"
Atlanta ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911."
Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OF OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE. PLEASE ADVISE!"
Atlanta ATC: "Well bless your little hearts, and praise Jesus. Y'all be careful now; and tell Allah 'hey' for us!"
Friday, August 21, 2009
Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman
Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.
As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
"I'm entering!" said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"
"First Place!," said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."
"I'm entering," says Superman. After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"First Place ," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"
They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"
So Pinocchio enters.
After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"Oh, What happened?" they asked.
"Who is Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.
As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
"I'm entering!" said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"
"First Place!," said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."
"I'm entering," says Superman. After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"First Place ," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"
They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"
So Pinocchio enters.
After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"Oh, What happened?" they asked.
"Who is Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
12 of 12 - August 2009
The Basic Idea: 12 pictures of your life on the 12th of each month. I decided to try and use my cell phone this month. Although I LOVE my new smartphone which I received for Father's Day, I have not been real impressed with the pictures it takes. I was happy today when I imported my pictures into Google's Picasa 3 as it cleaned up the pictures VERY nicely. I was not so happy when I found out that I accidentally changed the picture settings on my phone to very tiny 320x240 pictures! Oh well, here's my small pictures from August.
01 - Starting the morning off right. Those eggs are almost pretty enough to be in a picture.
02 - Luck me...August 12 Tarrant Country jury duty. I was fortunate as the trial I was assigned to got dismissed as soon as the jury was assigned. Went to pick up my $6 and was outa there by 10:30am.
03 - See the little poles and straps for the lines of people? When we were told to line up, I started down my end. I looked up and saw people coming in from the other end as well. I paused to make sure I was going through the right way when this lady behind me said "Excuse me. Are you walking?" All I could come up with was, "I'm working on it", but I really wanted to reply with the same "kind" tone she was using and say, "Look, lady. I'm not sure what you are in such a hurry for. It's not like we're going to miss standing in line if we don't run to take our place. But if you're in such an all-fire hurry, but all means, go in front of me!" ('I'm working on it' probably sounded more Christ-like, but I don't think I get credit for that based on what went though my mind and what I really wanted to say to the pushy old lady).
04 - Amanda's been doing two math sheets each morning to be all refreshed and ready or the school year. She's working on reducing and improper fractions here.
05 - Every Wednesday I have lunch with my friend, George. It's one of the highlights of my week.
06 - Operation Backpack was this Saturday. I was getting everything ready.
07 - Pastor Philip's dog, Ranger was visiting for the week. Here he is sitting on the couch with Sully.
08 - Ranger's handiwork.
09 - Birthday Dog! It was Boo's 8th birthday.
10 - Although it may look more like a head lock, Brooke was actually loving on Sully trying to help him feel better. He was a bit insecure with Ranger being at the house...he wasn't quite sure where he fell in the pecking order.
11 - Ranger at the dog park playing with a new friend.
12 - Ranger worn out at the end of the day after meeting EVERY SINGLE DOG and trying to wrestle with them at the dog park.
01 - Starting the morning off right. Those eggs are almost pretty enough to be in a picture.
02 - Luck me...August 12 Tarrant Country jury duty. I was fortunate as the trial I was assigned to got dismissed as soon as the jury was assigned. Went to pick up my $6 and was outa there by 10:30am.
03 - See the little poles and straps for the lines of people? When we were told to line up, I started down my end. I looked up and saw people coming in from the other end as well. I paused to make sure I was going through the right way when this lady behind me said "Excuse me. Are you walking?" All I could come up with was, "I'm working on it", but I really wanted to reply with the same "kind" tone she was using and say, "Look, lady. I'm not sure what you are in such a hurry for. It's not like we're going to miss standing in line if we don't run to take our place. But if you're in such an all-fire hurry, but all means, go in front of me!" ('I'm working on it' probably sounded more Christ-like, but I don't think I get credit for that based on what went though my mind and what I really wanted to say to the pushy old lady).
04 - Amanda's been doing two math sheets each morning to be all refreshed and ready or the school year. She's working on reducing and improper fractions here.
05 - Every Wednesday I have lunch with my friend, George. It's one of the highlights of my week.
06 - Operation Backpack was this Saturday. I was getting everything ready.
07 - Pastor Philip's dog, Ranger was visiting for the week. Here he is sitting on the couch with Sully.
08 - Ranger's handiwork.
09 - Birthday Dog! It was Boo's 8th birthday.
10 - Although it may look more like a head lock, Brooke was actually loving on Sully trying to help him feel better. He was a bit insecure with Ranger being at the house...he wasn't quite sure where he fell in the pecking order.
11 - Ranger at the dog park playing with a new friend.
12 - Ranger worn out at the end of the day after meeting EVERY SINGLE DOG and trying to wrestle with them at the dog park.12 of 12 - July 2009
The Basic Idea: 12 pictures of your life on the 12th of each month. Here's my July. We were in Alabama visiting Brooke's family on the way back from the Liberty Family summer conference in Lake Junaluska, NC.
01 - Amanda playing in MawMaw Brenda's closet. It was hot in there, but she didn't seem to notice.
02 - There was a surprise 70th birthday party for Brooke's Dad at the church. Friends and family were there to celebrate with him.
03 - Here's the golf cart that was on the birthday cake...they got it off before I could take a picture.
04 - Dad's surprise birthday party. Here he is next to his sister, Judy and son, Scott, taking the picture.
05 - Brooke and her sister, Jill, serving at the party.
06 - My nephew, David, is now driving.
07 - Amanda with cousins Hannah and David.
08 - Brooke with her Momma. I have always told Brooke if she looks as good as her Momma when she is her Momma's age, I'll always have a good-looking wife.
09 - Me and the wife of my youth!
10 - Showing off the "Bartholomew good looks"! This is Brooke's brother, Scott (who made a surprise visit for Dad's birthday), her Mom, Brenda...and Brooke.
11 - The Bartholomew Clan - Jill (middle child), Scott (oldest), Brenda, Bill and Brooke (only one under 40)
12 - Brooke's sister, Jill, and her fiance, David Bartlett. David proposed to her while we were there (they were married August 15th).
01 - Amanda playing in MawMaw Brenda's closet. It was hot in there, but she didn't seem to notice.
02 - There was a surprise 70th birthday party for Brooke's Dad at the church. Friends and family were there to celebrate with him.
03 - Here's the golf cart that was on the birthday cake...they got it off before I could take a picture.
04 - Dad's surprise birthday party. Here he is next to his sister, Judy and son, Scott, taking the picture.
05 - Brooke and her sister, Jill, serving at the party.
06 - My nephew, David, is now driving.
07 - Amanda with cousins Hannah and David.
08 - Brooke with her Momma. I have always told Brooke if she looks as good as her Momma when she is her Momma's age, I'll always have a good-looking wife.
09 - Me and the wife of my youth!
10 - Showing off the "Bartholomew good looks"! This is Brooke's brother, Scott (who made a surprise visit for Dad's birthday), her Mom, Brenda...and Brooke.
11 - The Bartholomew Clan - Jill (middle child), Scott (oldest), Brenda, Bill and Brooke (only one under 40)
12 - Brooke's sister, Jill, and her fiance, David Bartlett. David proposed to her while we were there (they were married August 15th).Sunday, August 09, 2009
12 of 12 - June 2009
I can't seem to find online who actually started 12 of 12, but the idea is to take pictures on the 12th of every month and then choose 12 to "keep". At the end of the year, you have your year at a glance. Here is my (late to post) June 12 of 12.
8:21am - Advertisement on the wall in the church foyer for VBS which ended on Friday, June 12th.
8:23am - Sanctuary decorations for VBS.
9:24am - Games at VBS morning rally.
9:58am - This is one of the things I do at VBS...head up clean up!
11:46am - Closing rally at VBS
12:02pm - Another one of the things I do at VBS...music and video
12:29pm - Pastor Matt "taking one for the team"
12:29pm - Miss Victoria. Kids who brought the most food for the food pantry drive during week got to throw a cream pie in their teacher's face.
12:33pm - Some of the week's VBS leaders in front of the giant water slide.
5:50pm - Yes, closing day of VBS was also our anniversary. Amanda made us a card.
5:51pm - June 12, 2009. The day we all (finally) switched over to digital TV. We have AT&T U-Verse so we didn't have to do anything different.
6:00pm - Amanda ended up running a fever today so our plans for her to spend the night at a friend's house for our anniversary changed. Instead, we had a "romantic" family dinner of Long John Silver's at home.
8:21am - Advertisement on the wall in the church foyer for VBS which ended on Friday, June 12th.
8:23am - Sanctuary decorations for VBS.
9:24am - Games at VBS morning rally.
9:58am - This is one of the things I do at VBS...head up clean up!
11:46am - Closing rally at VBS
12:02pm - Another one of the things I do at VBS...music and video
12:29pm - Pastor Matt "taking one for the team"
12:29pm - Miss Victoria. Kids who brought the most food for the food pantry drive during week got to throw a cream pie in their teacher's face.
12:33pm - Some of the week's VBS leaders in front of the giant water slide.
5:50pm - Yes, closing day of VBS was also our anniversary. Amanda made us a card.
5:51pm - June 12, 2009. The day we all (finally) switched over to digital TV. We have AT&T U-Verse so we didn't have to do anything different.
6:00pm - Amanda ended up running a fever today so our plans for her to spend the night at a friend's house for our anniversary changed. Instead, we had a "romantic" family dinner of Long John Silver's at home.
12 of 12 - May 2009
This month's 12 of 12 actually took place "on or around" May 12th. I left to visit my best friend and roommate from college, Craig, in Michigan on the 12th. These pictures began on the 12th and continued through the time I was with Craig.
01 - Leaving from DFW
02 - Amanda seeing me off at the airport
03 - Amanda gave me this little Zebra to take with me on my trip. She wanted me to take pictures with him in it while I was gone. Here is his picture next to the Sky Mall magazine on the plane.
04 - This is the Macinac Bridge. Pretty cool because I saw an episode of Dirty Jobs where they serviced this bridge. Imagine changing the bulb on the light at the top of this bridge!
05 - Here is Zebra sitting on the shore of one of the Great Lakes. The Macinac Bridge is in the background.
06 - This is Craig's church...New Horizon's Church of the Nazarene in Pickford, Michigan.
07 - It was Teen Service week when I was there. This is Pastor Craig using his Sylvester Stalone accent with one of his youth who talked with an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.
08 - BIG MEN. This is me and my best friend, Craig.
09 - This is Zebra at some sand dunes we found while geocaching.
10 - Craig and Kaylee at the bottom of a big sand dune.
11 - Zebra with a geocache we found.
12 - Kaylee finding a geocache.
01 - Leaving from DFW
02 - Amanda seeing me off at the airport
03 - Amanda gave me this little Zebra to take with me on my trip. She wanted me to take pictures with him in it while I was gone. Here is his picture next to the Sky Mall magazine on the plane.
04 - This is the Macinac Bridge. Pretty cool because I saw an episode of Dirty Jobs where they serviced this bridge. Imagine changing the bulb on the light at the top of this bridge!
05 - Here is Zebra sitting on the shore of one of the Great Lakes. The Macinac Bridge is in the background.
06 - This is Craig's church...New Horizon's Church of the Nazarene in Pickford, Michigan.
07 - It was Teen Service week when I was there. This is Pastor Craig using his Sylvester Stalone accent with one of his youth who talked with an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.
08 - BIG MEN. This is me and my best friend, Craig.
09 - This is Zebra at some sand dunes we found while geocaching.
10 - Craig and Kaylee at the bottom of a big sand dune.
11 - Zebra with a geocache we found.
12 - Kaylee finding a geocache.Wednesday, August 05, 2009
I Don't Drink Beer
Becoming a Grown Up
We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice - that is, until we have stopped saying "It got lost" and say, "I lost it."
- Sydney J. Harris (1917 - 1986)
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Trips to the Doctor(s)
Thought I'd post a quick explanation for those of you have been praying for me while following my Twitter/Facebook updates.
On July 5th, we headed toward Lake Junaluska, NC the Liberty Fellowship family conference. While on the way to Memphis (the half way point where we planned to spend the night), I began having chest pain and just felt really "not good". I had no appetite and felt really out of it. I didn't say anything to my family, but that night when I went to bed, I considered checking into the hospital. I thought I was about to have a heart attack.
I was finally able to go to sleep Sunday night and felt better when I woke up in the morning. I told Brooke how I had been feeling, she prayed for me and we headed on toward NC. Short version...I had the same symptoms on and off during the week. A couple times, when I felt really bad, I had an OVERWHELMING sense of dread. I did not know if I was having a heart attack or what. I did not know if I should check into the hospital 1,000 miles from home or "wait it out" since I had made it through the symptoms before.
I called my cardiologist on the way home the following Monday (July 20th). I did not feel good again that Tuesday when I heard back from my doctor. He brought me in for a nuclear stress test (which would show any blockage or previous damage to my heart). I was a bit concerned about running on the treadmill after having had chest pains, but I was told that would actually be a 'good' thing if we could reproduce my chest pain!
I had no chest pains on the treadmill and felt great the rest of the night Tuesday, all day Wednesday and on Thursday until 5pm. Thursday night, I got chest pains again and did not feel good. Had another attack of overwhelming dread and really wished I had heard back from my cardiologist.
This Friday, I called my cardiologist and was told my nuclear stress test came back "normal" showing no blockage and no damage. They suggested I call my regular doctor, so I was able to get an appointment on Friday afternoon.
After hearing about my symptoms and clear stress test results, my doctor gave me a sample of Nexium to treat my acid reflux (which had been getting worse) and started a couples tests on my gall bladder.
An initial sonogram on my gall bladder came back "normal". This coming week I am going in for a cardiac blood work up (including checking my blood plaque levels), a follow up visit with the cardiologist and a more in depth (read MORE COSTLY) scan on my gall bladder.
The Nexium has totally taken care of my acid reflux and I have had no more "episodes". Don't know if I've had another couple good days or if this is all related to the acid reflux. I thank the Lord my heart is good, I have had no more episodes and I am feeling good. I am continuing to pray for no more episodes or symptoms and that controlling the acid reflux will take care of it all.
Of course, all of these problems are exacerbated by being overweight. You can also pray for me (please just pray...I'll ask for suggestions if I need them) for me to stay committed to life changes to loose the weight and keep it off.
On July 5th, we headed toward Lake Junaluska, NC the Liberty Fellowship family conference. While on the way to Memphis (the half way point where we planned to spend the night), I began having chest pain and just felt really "not good". I had no appetite and felt really out of it. I didn't say anything to my family, but that night when I went to bed, I considered checking into the hospital. I thought I was about to have a heart attack.
I was finally able to go to sleep Sunday night and felt better when I woke up in the morning. I told Brooke how I had been feeling, she prayed for me and we headed on toward NC. Short version...I had the same symptoms on and off during the week. A couple times, when I felt really bad, I had an OVERWHELMING sense of dread. I did not know if I was having a heart attack or what. I did not know if I should check into the hospital 1,000 miles from home or "wait it out" since I had made it through the symptoms before.
I called my cardiologist on the way home the following Monday (July 20th). I did not feel good again that Tuesday when I heard back from my doctor. He brought me in for a nuclear stress test (which would show any blockage or previous damage to my heart). I was a bit concerned about running on the treadmill after having had chest pains, but I was told that would actually be a 'good' thing if we could reproduce my chest pain!
I had no chest pains on the treadmill and felt great the rest of the night Tuesday, all day Wednesday and on Thursday until 5pm. Thursday night, I got chest pains again and did not feel good. Had another attack of overwhelming dread and really wished I had heard back from my cardiologist.
This Friday, I called my cardiologist and was told my nuclear stress test came back "normal" showing no blockage and no damage. They suggested I call my regular doctor, so I was able to get an appointment on Friday afternoon.
After hearing about my symptoms and clear stress test results, my doctor gave me a sample of Nexium to treat my acid reflux (which had been getting worse) and started a couples tests on my gall bladder.
An initial sonogram on my gall bladder came back "normal". This coming week I am going in for a cardiac blood work up (including checking my blood plaque levels), a follow up visit with the cardiologist and a more in depth (read MORE COSTLY) scan on my gall bladder.
The Nexium has totally taken care of my acid reflux and I have had no more "episodes". Don't know if I've had another couple good days or if this is all related to the acid reflux. I thank the Lord my heart is good, I have had no more episodes and I am feeling good. I am continuing to pray for no more episodes or symptoms and that controlling the acid reflux will take care of it all.
Of course, all of these problems are exacerbated by being overweight. You can also pray for me (please just pray...I'll ask for suggestions if I need them) for me to stay committed to life changes to loose the weight and keep it off.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Made Ya Look
I posted to Twitter/Facebook: "I like my paperclips FAT, my rubber bands skinny and my women like this...with a link to this picture.
Friday, July 03, 2009
Never Know What You'll See
Amanda and I went for a motorcycle ride this evening. We didn't head out until 8pm because it has been so hot. We like to ride the back, country roads and look for animals because you never know what you'll see. Tonight we saw BIG bulls, llamas, goats, ducks, geese, burros, ponies, horses, a vulture, dogs, cats...and this tarantula! I guess this guy was small compared to some, but he was big enough I saw him crossing the road as we rode across a bridge. Amanda was not real thrilled when I got off the bike to take a picture. She was convinced that it was going to be a "jumping tarantula" that would jump up and bite me! I guess she thought I would die instantly and she would be left there on the roadside alone. (We're all pretty happy it didn't turn out that way).
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