How Did You and Mom Meet?

 

From my Storyworth Collection

Today is your mom's and my 29th anniversary, so this seemed like a good question to answer today.

I met your mother at Christ for the Nations Institute (CFNI) in August of 1991. We had to arrive on campus the weekend before classes started and we were required to play "orientation games." The purpose of the games was to help you get to know other students, but not being a people person and being rather competitive, I was more into winning the game. I cannot remember how the games went, but I remember one game where we had to ask people questions and I think the questions were divided into lists so there were other people asking the same questions you were (which meant that they were "competition" because the goal was to be the first person to get answers to all your questions.) There was this one southern girl that must have had the same list I did because I kept bumping into her and we were asking the same questions. She was obviously WAY more into meeting people than in winning the game. She seemed to think it was funny that we kept bumping into each other and asking the same questions (despite the fact that this was slowing me down and keeping me from winning the game). I was not successful at winning the game, nor was I successful at staying upset with this girl whom I could not help but notice was particularly cute.

Later that day, we were in line for dinner. The line in the cafeteria was like the line at an amusement park with the ropes strung so that you had to weave back and forth as the line moved. It just so happened that this cute southern girl I met during the orientation games was in line, too. I could not remember her name, but we all had to wear our student ID, so each time the line weaved around, very slyly, I would try to see the name on her badge. This became frustrating because her student ID said "Angela" and although I did not remember her name, that just didn't sound right. When I said I "very slyly" tried to see the name on her ID, I must have been "sly" only in my head. About the 3rd time we passed, this girl looked me in the eye and said, "Hi, I'm Brooke". BUSTED! This was not the last dork move I would make during our relationship!

So I said hello and sat next to Brooke and some other friends she had already met (yup, she was a people person way back then). And then several times that week we sat together with friends. And then we hung out (with friends) more. Yeah, she was a lot of fun to be around. And THIS became a problem. You see, I came to CFNI to follow Jesus and I had "sworn off" girls. I didn't think relationships were bad, but I had a very serious relationship in college that did not end as I had hoped that it would, and it was hard on me. When I came to Bible college, I told Jesus I was ready to focus on Him and what He wanted to do in my life. I was not there to be sidetracked by a relationship. This was part pure desire to follow Jesus and part a defense mechanism I believe. Regardless, Brooke and I started hanging out more...with friends and just the two of us. This led to my second BIG DORK move.

This cute southern girl caught my eye, caught my attention and was starting to tug at my heart. But I knew I was there to follow Jesus and not be sidetracked with relationships. So...how to explain this to my new friend? This is what I came up with: get a picture of my old girlfriend, show it to my new friend, tell her about the tragic ending of my previous relationship and then let her know "you and I are just friends because I'm following Jesus." Yup, I was THAT smooth.

At this point, everybody, including me, is wondering how I ended up celebrating 29 years of marriage to this beautiful woman. I am not sure...it had to be the grace of God and, I don't know, did I totally bewilder Brooke, so she had no idea what to think? Man am I ever glad she didn't give up on me after that stupid move.

Despite my ignorance, my heart before the Lord was pure. I was talking to Him about this girl. "God, I really like her. I don't just like her, but I'm having feelings towards her and that is a problem because I am here to focus on You and not on relationships." There were actually a few things in my life I had given up at the time because I wanted to take full advantage of my time in Bible college to hear from the Lord about what He had for my life and to draw closer to Him. Thankfully God was patient with me. He made it clear to me that being attracted to this girl was not at odds with following Him wholeheartedly.

Well, once God and I were on the same page about that, I became a bit worried I had blown it with Brooke. I had put us in the friend zone, but I did NOT like seeing her with other guy friends. I don't remember what all I did trying to fix my super blunder, but I remember going on a hayride in October that year and I reached over to hold her hand. My little heart leapt for joy, and I guess it was kinda a big deal for her too because she later told me she called her Momma that night and told her, "He held my hand!"

My feelings continued to grow toward Brooke and somehow, I came up with a better way to communicate my feelings for her and for the Lord at the same time. One night we ended up at Kidville in Duncanville (a playground with a HUGE wooden playground that Brooke and I enjoyed going to with our friends...but it was just the two of us that night). I explained again (this time WITHOUT the picture of my ex-girlfriend) that I came to Bible college to pursue Jesus. Although my intention was not to involve myself in a relationship, I found that I had feelings for her. Instead of being a dork again, I explained that I had prayed about it and did not think my feelings towards her would distract me from following Jesus, but I did not want a casual relationship. I was headed into ministry, I had feelings for her, and if she was OK with both of those things and would like to see where that went, I would like that. I told her I loved her. Thankfully, she returned my "I love you" and that was our first kiss!

So we became a couple. We still hung out with friends a lot, we hunted for (and found) a church together and ended up leading the youth group at Trinity New Life Fellowship together. As we became closer and I could see us together in the future, doing ministry, I began to dream about a life together with Brooke. During this time, a fellow student made a very public proposal to his girlfriend in one of our classes. As Brooke and I were talking about it later, she said, "You'd never do something like that!" It wasn't a "please do" or "please don't", it was really an observation of my not being a public/people person. I knew then and there when it came time to propose to this girl, it was going to have to be big and public. She liked what she saw that day and I wanted to make her happy.

Before I could propose to Brooke, I knew I had to have her parents’ permission. As it "just so happened", Brooke wanted to go home to visit her family for Spring Break, so she invited our mutual friend Sharon and me to go with her. Of course I agreed; not only would it be fun, but it would be the chance I needed to have a conversation with her dad. Brooke's mom and the girls had gone to bed, so it was a perfect time to talk to her dad, but as I was nervously thinking about the conversation, my stomach became a bit unsettled. My "intestinal distress" led to some "pressure relief" which I INSTANTLY regretted. It was silent but DEADLY. I knew it was gonna be a room-filler, but to my future father-in-law's credit, his only comment to me was "Do you feel better, son?" Somehow, I was able to overcome this, ask his permission and receive his blessing to ask Brooke to be my wife.

As I tried to come up with an appropriate way to propose to the love of my life, I hit upon the idea of proposing to her in front of our church family. Pastor David was agreeable to the idea, so I planned it for a Sunday morning. I had an announcement to make about an upcoming youth event, so I got up on stage and then asked Brooke to come help me make the announcement. She was not thrilled with that idea, but she did not suspect a thing. She joined me on stage, I stumbled through my announcement, then I nudged her a bit to the side, dropped down to one knee and proposed. She said "Yes!"

And that is what led up to Saturday, June 12, 1993, when Angela Brooke Bartholomew became Angela Brooke Hurt. We are living happily ever after.

Who Is Your Friend - Nicholas Ghidina?

 From my Storyworth Collection

This is my friend, Nicholas Ghidina. I met Nicholas in 2018 when I was doing an ACAPP ride along at the South station. Often times a rider shows up at briefing and the sergeant announces, "We have a rider tonight. Who wants to take them?" This is generally followed by an awkward silence and by the sergeant telling the officer with lowest seniority, "OK, Officer Newbie, you have a rider today." Fortunately, that day in 2018 was different...when the sergeant asked who wanted a rider, Nicholas volunteered to take me (we had not met before that time).

I don't remember if the shifts were 8 or 10 hours then, but we spent the time patrolling, talking and getting to know a little bit about one another. I discovered Nicholas was not only a Christian, but he also had a passion for ministering to police officers. We spent the last part of the ride along talking about coming together to do some sort of cop Bible study. At the end of the shift, we said "good-bye and let's keep in touch."

Nicholas and I touched base a few times over the next year or so, but in the summer of 2020, Nicholas called and said, "Let's have lunch". As we talked, he laid out is heart for cop ministry and floated the idea of Cop Church hosted at Vine Fellowship. We would start out meeting once a month, have fellowship, worship and time in the Word. We would bring in speakers with a law enforcement background to whom officers could relate. Cop Church kicked off that August. Over the next 9 months, Cop Church met 8 times (we did not meet in December), building a small core not only of officers but also church ladies who PUT OUT THE SPREAD to feed officers before church each month. Nicholas brought in a variety of retired and active-duty law enforcement speakers from within APD's ranks to out-of-state officers. Nicholas shared his heart with officers a couple times (in a round-table discussion format officers loved) and I got to share with them a couple times as well.

2021 brought unexpected changes with my job and the Lord asked me to pull back from ministry for now so that He could work some things in my life. I am not sure why my time with Nicholas and Cop Church was so short, but I do know I am extremely thankful to have had this opportunity to partner with Nicholas and see Cop Church get started. God is faithful and has provided a new home for Cop Church. I look forward to visiting them sometime down the road to see what kind of exciting things God is doing there.

I am thankful for this friendship and the ministry opportunities God allowed us to participate in together. I do not know what God has for me ministry-wise down the road, but if I get to team up with Nicholas again, that will make me very happy. Until then, I look forward to our lunches together encouraging each other and talking about what the Lord is doing in our lives. 

Fresh Start 2022 - Miracles Begin (Part 3)

 From my Storyworth collection

When God started talking to me about the changes taking place in my life, He clearly said, “You don’t have the plan. You don’t have the money. Any path you choose is going to require faith and is going to require miracles.” I decided, if that is the case, I want to recognize and record the miracles. The following is taken from my 4/18/22 journaling as I started recording the first miracles. (This is taken directly from my journaling).

“Lord, You told me on the 29th that You would bless whichever of those three paths I chose. You said any path would require faith and would require miracles. I took You at Your word and said OK. It is interesting that the “it will require miracles” did not scare me. I guess that in itself confirms another word that You gave me telling me that the storms Brooke and I have faced in the past have built our faith to equip us for this. The thing with Brooke’s job was one of the most awful to go through, but You showed Yourself so faithful and strong. It was impossible for us to make it in the natural, but You provided. You not only provided, but You (true to Your Word) used it for our good.

Which leads me to the miracles. I want to record the miracles that You do for us in this journey. One of the first ones would be BROOKE’S NEW JOB. The enemy tried to destroy her, but You sustained us for a year, gave her a much-needed break, provided a good job she enjoys at a place where is she appreciated, and now a raise to the highest paying job she has ever had. Just when we needed it the most. Thank you, Jesus!

Secondly, the connections You are bringing as I pursue real estate. That first hour long PHONE CALL WITH JENNIFER LINDER was so encouraging and a confirmation that You will take care of us. To have a dear friend who has become a success in this field, who is willing to invest in me, who has high-level skills and will help me as I grow in this…nothing short of a miracle.

I originally included PASTOR DON CONNECTING ME WITH THE CARRILLOS as a part of this “connections” or “mentors” miracle, but it is different in that it is helping me get set up and connecting me with what seems to be an excellent broker for starting out. And that first phone call with them, investing an hour and a half with me, listening, encouraging, sharing practical wisdom and praying with me. This connection and phone call was/is a miracle and a confirmation that You are going to take care of us.

At the last Cop Church, I was so excited and then You began talking to me about a “decrease in my ministry” for a time (which I have come to understand now means a ministry sabbatical). I could not picture my life without cop ministry, but You began showing me You were closing that door. While I was still struggling with this, Nicholas text and said he found A NEW HOME FOR COP CHURCH if it is needed. You worked so gently with me to help me see the door was closing for me, but You were protecting this ministry that is so near and dear to my heart. I am still processing this loss, but I see Your hand in it. Thank You for taking care of Cop Church and thank You for the gentle way you showed me the door is closing.

As I began to understand that You were calling me to a ministry sabbatical, the last and hardest area to lay down was ACAPP, in particular my briefing visits. {We had not finalized our church plans at this point}. I accepted it (but had not really processed it) when I started talking to Robert Muszynski last night to tell him I would soon stop my briefing visits. It wasn’t until we started talking that I saw another miracle, how YOU RAISED UP ROBERT MUSZYNSKI AT WEST STATION to continue ministry to officers there. In all the years I’ve been doing briefing visits, nobody has shared my passion for it until Robert started this last year. He has the passion and the anointing. Laying this down is the hardest and I’m still in the numb phase, but I see Your hand and I’m thankful.”

What were your favorite cartoons growing up?

 From my Storyworth collection

Wow…cartoons were SO different when I was a kid. My absolute favorite was Looney Tunes on Saturday morning. Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Cuck, Tweety, Sylvester, Wile E Coyote, Road Runner, Tasmanian Devil, Yosemitie Sam, Porky Pig, Forhorn Leghorn, Pepe Le Pew, Marvin the Martian, Speedy Gonzales and some other minor characters. They must have run for 2 hours straight on a Saturday morning.

I also liked Scooby Doo. Scooby-Doo, Shaggy, Fred, Daphne and Velma. And the other cartoon I remember liking, when I was older, was the Smurfs.

What are your favorite songs?

 From my Storyworth collection

For my “favorite” songs, I am going to pick 3 songs that meant something special to me at certain times in my life…songs that God gave me to get through a hard time. I will share the song, the circumstance and the lyrics.

Song #1 - Destined To Win by DeGarmo and Key

The first time I heard this song was on a Sunday morning while I was in college at Olivet (my sophomore year, my first year away from home). It was not sung by DeGarmo and Key, but by my pastor’s wife as a special that morning. I do not remember why I was struggling that weekend, but I was, and the song really encouraged me. I am not sure who I borrowed the DeGarmo and Key tape from (yes, cassette tape!), but I blasted it in my apartment all Sunday afternoon. It encouraged me and brought me out of whatever I was dealing with.

Here are the lyrics:

This songs to all the people

With light in their hearts

And love in their eyes

You don’t have to worry

When the mountains seem of infinite size

There is one who goes before you to calm the sea

There’s a king who leads his people to victory

We are Destined to Win

We’re surrounded by his Love

And guarded by his power

Destined to Win

Following the Lord until the battles over

We are Destined to Win

We all get discouraged

When the pressures of life start weighing us down

We’ve learned that in his footsteps

Crosses in life must preceed the crowns

There is one who goes before you

To calm the sea

There’s a king who leads his people to victory

We are Destined to Win

We’re surrounded by his Love

And guarded by his power

Destined to Win

Following the Lord until the battles over

We are Destined to Win

We’ve got to remember

It’s our destiny to win the end

With Christ on our side

We are Destined to Win

We are Destined to Win

We’re surrounded by his Love

And guarded by his power

Destined to Win

Following the Lord until the battles over

Destined to Win

Song #2 - Way Maker by Sinach

I first heard this song in 2018. Brooke and I had hit the lowest point in our marriage, and she had moved out (her stuff was still at home, but she was not staying at home). It seemed possible that our marriage would not survive. I had not given up faith in God being able to restore us, but my prayers were not prayers of great faith, rather of trust. During this time, I heard Way Maker, and it became my anthem. I played this song over and over and over again…each time building my faith that God IS a way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness. God is SO good…He not only restored our marriage but used the recovery to make our marriage stronger that it ever was before. As only He can do, He turned what the devil meant to destroy us into something GOOD.

Here are the lyrics:

You are here

Moving in our midst

I worship you

I worship you

You are here

Working in this place

I worship you

I worship you

You are here

Moving in our midst

I worship you

I worship you

You are here

Working in this place

I worship you

I worship you

Way maker

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

That is who you are

Way maker

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

My God

That is who you are

You are here

You are here

Touching every heart

I worship you

I worship you

You are here

You are here

Healing every heart

I worship you

I worship you

I worship you

I worship you

You are here

Turning lives around

Turning lives around

I worship you

I worship you

I worship you

I worship you

You are here

You are here

Mending every heart

Mending every heart

I worship you

I worship you

I worship you

I worship you

We call you “way maker”

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

My God, my God

That is who you are

We call you “way maker”

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

My God, my God

That is who you are

Lift up your hands

You wipe away all tears

You mend a broken heart

You’re the answer to it all

You wipe away all tears

You mend all the broken heart

You’re the answer to it all (to it all)

Jesus

Way maker

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

My God, my God

That is who you are

Way maker

Way maker

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

My God, my God

That is who you are

Way maker

Way maker

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

My God, my God

That is who you are

Way maker

Way maker

Way maker

Way maker

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

That is who you are

Way maker

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

That is who you are

That is who you are

Lift up your hands

Way maker

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

That is who you are

Way maker

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

That is who you are

…to you

He’s always on top

He’s a way maker

…

It doesn’t matter how long it takes

Lift up your hands and worship

Way maker

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

That is who you are

One more time of your life

Way maker

Miracle worker

Promise keeper

Light in the darkness

My God, my God

That is who you are

Song #3 - Coming Through by Jeremiah Brinkley (First15 Worship)

I first heard this song (it was just released) by my friend Jeremiah Brinkley. It is pretty obvious that this song was a desperate cry from Jeremiah’s heart to God, and a confession of faith when he did not yet see the answer. It was POWERFUL when I first heard it, and it stuck with me. But when God started talking to me about changing jobs and then backing down from ministry for a time, He brought this song to my mind again. This song is one that is currently building my faith that God is FAITHFUL, He is GOOD and He is always COMING THROUGH.

Here are the lyrics:

You always come through You always will do

Everything you say you’re going to

You always provide You always on time

Right when I need you You’re always by my side

[Pre-Chorus]

So in the waiting

I’ll be patient

[Chorus]

You are the one who holds the stars

So You’ll be the one who holds my heart

You are the one who made the pieces

So you’ll put it back together again

You are the one who calms the seas

So You’ll be the one who will calms this storm Inside me

I’ll never have to wonder what you’ll do

Cause You’re always coming through

[Verse 2]

You’re always trustworthy You quiet my worries

You traded your life and give me mercy

Your love is so perfect I Never could earn it

But you looked at my heart and said I’m worth it

And Though I don’t deserve it

[Chorus]

You are the one who holds the stars

So You’ll be the one who holds my heart

You are the one who made the pieces

So you’ll put it back together again

You are the one who calms the seas

So You’ll be the one who will calms this storm Inside me

I’ll never have to wonder what you’ll do

Cause You’re always coming through

[Bridge]

I know you’ll guide me

And you’ll supply for me

I know you will

Cause that’s who you are

I know you’ll shield me

I know you’ll heal me

I know you will

Cause that’s who you are

I know you’ll save me

You’ll Make a way for me

I know you will

Cause that’s who you are

I know you’ll fight for me

Do what’s right for me

I know you will

Cause that’s who you are

[Pre-Chorus]

So in the waiting

I’ll be patient

[Chorus]

You are the one who calms the seas

So You’ll be the one who will calms this storm Inside me

I’ll never have to wonder what you’ll do

Cause You’re always coming through

Fresh Start 2022 - First Journaling Entry 3/29/22 (Part 2)

 From my Storyworth collection

This is from my journaling on 3/29/22.

Verse I read that morning:
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans. ~Proverbs 16:3 (NIV)

From the YouVersion devotion Brooke and I were reading that day (Faith Over Fear):
“We cannot allow our fears of failing to keep us from reaching our potential.

Too often do we allow fear to paralyze us. We sit and wait until we are no longer afraid, when we could have acted long before. God has a plan in place for you, and it may require you to step out of the realm of your comfort zone. You may be uncomfortable. You may be scared. You may not feel that you are ready, but you will when it’s time.

Fear is nothing. Fear is a mirage. It’s a temporary emotion based on a temporary situation. And a tool that the enemy uses to keep us stagnant. Fear is a natural response to the unknown, but you can’t allow fear to control your life.

Often fear is what comes before change, and change is necessary for growth. Your want for success and happiness must be stronger than your fear of failure.

Your faith must triumph over fear. God puts us in situations of discomfort for a reason.

2 Timothy 1:7 says that the Lord has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love, and of a sound mind. Know that in everything you do in His name, you will be prosperous. Failure is a stepping stone on the journey to success. It is not to be feared, but to be learned from. Fear is only a setback if you allow it to be so.

God is greater than your fear of failure.”

My written-out prayer to God that morning:
“So Lord, what do I do? I have got to start moving forward. I am sitting here, overwhelmed, doing nothing. You have not given a spirit of fear, but that is the word I am living right now. As soon as I wake up, I can’t go back to sleep. I run to You and after being in your presence, I can start my day. And then I get overwhelmed and just want to go to bed and sleep to escape. Until I wake up and start all over again. This is NOT what You have for me. The future does not have to be known in order not to be controlled by fear. help me, Lord.

Do I pursue three things (ministry job, administrative assistant, realty) or do I just pursue one because I do not need to be spread any thinner?”

When I journal, I write down the thoughts that come to me when I am praying, believing that is how God speaks to us. This is what I believe the Lord was saying to me that morning:

“Yes Rob, get focused. You are spinning your wheels with no true plan forward. Any path you choose is going to require faith and is going to require miracles. you will not see the solution before you start walking. You will not have the answers ahead of time. you must walk by faith. it is now impossible for you to stay where you are and stay comfortable. Every hard battle, every “impossible” situation I have brought you through has been preparation for this. You have the faith you need to make it through this. If you didn’t, I would not have allowed it to happen now. You understand that, right? I allowed this to happen now because you already have what you need to make it through. You do not have the plan. You do not have the money. You do not have anything on your own. I know that. But you have Me, I am ALL you need. And I have prepared your faith for this. Of course, you do not feel prepared. If you did, you wouldn’t need faith and your faith would not grow. You are here to grow and to learn, Rob. You are here to learn to know Me better and to know my heart. This will equip you to minister to people in a new way, too. I don’t have you on the earth to take up time until I bring you home.

I have a Kingdom purpose for you, and I have a (personal) purpose for you. Right now, this season, this is for developing you. Your ministry to others is going to look much different right now. It is going to decrease because I am working on you. It does not mean ministry is over, but if you want to grow, the focus is going to be on Me and you right now. Your Kingdom purpose is not over, but now is not the time to try and imagine what that will be. You are going to have to trust Me in this, too. I am not finished with your Kingdom purpose…I am working on you (personal purpose) for what is next. What is next for you and then what is next for your ministry. DO NOT try to figure out what ministry is going to look like after this. You cannot foresee it, plan it or even work towards it. It’s there, but it’s My plan and My future for you. For now, we are working on you. Accept it and understand it as an act of love. Understand that this also will require a new level of faith and trust on your part.”

Fresh Start 2022 - Intro to A Series (Part 1)

From my Storyworth collection

It seems God is doing a new thing in my life in 2022 - “Reinventing Me at 53”. Now THAT is not a headline I would have chosen, but God does what is best for us even if we are not smart enough to know it is what is best for us. And sometimes, things just happen in life, but God works it out for our good (Romans 8:28) because He loves us and because He is a good Father.

I made a joke about “Reinventing Me at 53” because I thought it was funny and it is probably how the world would define what is going to be going on in my life this year. But I am calling it “Fresh Start 2022” because I believe God is giving me a fresh start in life. It didn’t feel that way when it started and I know there may be some stormy rides ahead, but God is SO GOOD and has shown me this is a fresh start, it is for my good, it is intentional, and it is to bless me in every way. Because of this, I want to document this journey here (in Storyworth). Most all of this (I think) will come from my journaling times with the Lord.

CONTEXT
This journey began when Pastor Don and I were talking about the most important priorities at the church and how, if we do not get the priorities taken care of, in order, a downward slide could end not well. The priorities he listed were:

1. Sunday mornings

2. Kids ministry

3. Youth ministry

4. Adult ministry

5. Communication (social media/marketing)

6. Administration

Both our children's director and youth director were volunteers, and both got raises/new positions at work that took away the time they had to devote to these two ministries. Without these two ministries thriving and growing, it is nearly impossible to attract and keep new families. We need a person to fill those roles, but it would not be financially responsible to bring on a 4th full-time pastor given our current church size and budget. What we need is a Family Pastor to oversee both kids and youth ministry. 

As we discussed this, Pastor Don asked me to pray about transitioning out of my current staff position and take this new Family Pastor position. My initial thought was, "Yes, I could do that. This is my church, and this is what's needed." I began to pray about it, talk with my wife and get the counsel of friends. An answer came quickly: Brooke cried and told me, “That’s not you.” My best friend Craig ‘yelled’ at me and said, “That’s not you.” This helped me hear the Holy Spirit saying, “That’s not you”.

Although this question was answered, I could not get away from the fact that we did indeed need this new position. Pastor Don had described the situation as a puzzle that needed to be solved. As I prayed about it, I began getting uncomfortable which is usually a sign that God is trying to get me to do something. I don't like change, so God has to make me uncomfortable to get me moving. I told Brooke, "I think I'm supposed to get another job."

When I told Pastor Don I could not take the position, he was not surprised (he also knew that was not me). As I discussed with Pastor Don my decision to get another job (one that would be a higher paying job and would benefit our family financially), he immediately offered to help me find a new job and do everything possible so that there would not be a financial cost on top of the emotional cost of this decision. He said he could find resume help for me, interview coaching or whatever I needed. He said Brooke and I could stay in the house with no set exit date (through the end of the year, no questions, after the first of the year, we can see how things look).

There was a short time between me knowing I could not take the new position and talking to Pastor Don about it. I thought my options would be to find another church job or look for a career change to become an administrative assistant. Along the way, Brooke asked, “Have you ever considered real estate?” My original response was, “No, I have not” (sort of dismissing it), but the more I thought about it, the more appealing it became as an option. When I prayed about it, I felt I had 3 options, all of which the Lord said He would bless: 1) another church job 2) administrative assistant, 3) real estate.

As I prayed about these options (see my first journaling post), I decided to pursue real estate. As soon as Pastor Don heard that, he immediately set up a meeting for me with Mark & Lisa Carrillo. Lisa is a real estate broker and Pastor Mark is now a business coach. They spent an hour and a half pouring into me, listening, praying, encouraging and sharing wisdom to help me begin this new venture. See my Miracles post for more details.

MY PLAN
As Brooke and I talked about what the future would look like, my thoughts were to stay at the church as a lay pastor which would allow me to continue leading Cop Church, ministering with ACAPP and my West Station briefings. Pastor Don was very supportive, and we talked about what that would look like.

During this time, Brooke and I had a LOT of questions, trying to work it out, and we were not always on the same page. But like no other time in our lives, we were at peace, and we were in unity that God would show us the way, we would both know it, and we would walk it out together. 

GOD'S PLAN
As you can read in my first journaling post, while I thought this was all about a job change, God had bigger plans. God spoke to me that, for now, my ministry to others would be decreasing so He could work some things in my life. I did not know what that meant when I first heard it, but over the next week to 10 days it became apparent that God was asking me to step away from ministry so that He could work His purposes in me. It was that black-and-white what He wanted, yet I still do not exactly what this means/what He intends to do. What I do know is He asked me one day if I would give up Cop Church so that He could do what He wanted to do in my life, so I said "yes". The next day, He asked if I would be willing to lay down ACAPP and my ministry with the police so that He could do what He wanted to do in my life, so I said "yes". And a day or two after that, He asked me if I would lay down my ministry at Vine Fellowship (even as a lay pastor) so that He could do what He wanted to do in my life. I could not picture my life without these three ministries, but God made it clear He was asking me to do this and that He was doing it so He could do something GOOD in my life. I said "yes".

Brooke was praying this whole time and, in her own time with the Lord, Brooke heard the same thing. As we discussed it, we realized this meant that we could not stay at Vine Fellowship because it would be impossible to be there without being "Pastor Rob and Miss Brooke". My heart is the heart of a pastor for our church, and God said His focus will be on just me and Him for a season. It was with sad hearts but 100% peace that we made this announcement to the church on April 24th at the end of service.

WHERE TO FROM HERE?
Pastor Don and I agreed on a plan that would both bless Brooke and I financially and make my transition out easier for the church; I will continue working at the church for a time (approximately 2 more months). During this time, I will also be in real estate school. My focus will be finishing classes as quickly as possible (180 hours) and setting up others to assume my responsibilities with as little disruption for the church as possible. At that time, Brooke and I will step away from the church and into what God has next. All we know now is we will find a church where we are not Pastor Rob and Miss Brooke, where we can be refreshed and allow God to do what He wants in our lives. He has made it clear that He is not done with us in ministry, but that is not for us to try and figure out now. He has blessings for us when it is time. And so, we step out in faith!

What is one of your favorite drinks?

 From my Storyworth collection

I suppose the question is supposed to be for those who like alcoholic drinks, but that’s not me. I have tried a couple drinks since being an adult, but to me, the alcohol ruins the taste of whatever it is in.

Funny story: the first time I ever tasted alcohol was on our honeymoon. Our trip to Puerto Vallarta was an all-expense paid trip (meals were paid for as well as drinks). Since we were in an area that had a lot of good fruit drinks, and since I was not drinker, I ordered virgin fruit drinks. They had something with mango in it that was pretty good, and I also liked pina coladas and banana daiquiris. I got one banana daiquiri and I kept telling Brooke, “Wow, the bananas they used must have been REALLY green.” After saying that 3-4 times (and not really enjoying my drink), Brooke took a sip and informed me it was not a virgin drink. The “green banana” taste I did not like was the alcohol!

My beverage of choice as an adult has usually been some variation of Diet Coke :)

What's the best job you've ever had?

 From my Storyworth collection

I have not had a lot of jobs in my life. I had one main job in high school (as I previously shared, I worked in the kitchen at Autumn Winds restaurant), I was a custodian in college and worked for the county painting (the underside of) bridges during the summer. I worked one summer in a boys’ home as a counselor after graduating from college. When I got married, I worked at Payless shoes for a year and then made it onto staff at Vine Fellowship (which was Trinity New Life Fellowship at the time). During my time at the church, I was youth pastor/secretary, then just youth pastor and lastly administrative pastor.

If I were to say which was the best job, I would probably have to say it was my years as youth pastor with Brooke by my side. We started with 3 students who were NOT interested in a relationship with the Lord. Over the 8 years we were the youth pastors, our group grew to 30 youth (on a good Wednesday night), we had six Wednesday night youth leaders and 4 married couples hosting Sunday night small groups for youth. We developed a program to encourage students to read through the Bible each year (FBI…Fellowship of Bible Investigators) and saw youth engage in ministry both inside and outside the church. It took a while to mature enough to understand getting and implementing a vision for the ministry, but once I did, I began discovering how God had created me and how He wanted to use me.

For the past 10 years or so I have also had a side job doing computer work…I call it More Tech Savvy. I never had any kind of computer or technology training; I just liked messing with computers and discovered other people do not…and these people could use my help. In early 2020, I made some connections and got hired for less than a year with a company called Cybermedix. The founder of Cybermedix is a Christian man with a desire to make the world a better place (literally), and he used his training and skills to do so. The part of the business I was involved with was a computer system for monitoring ventilators (that is a simple, superficial explanation). Cybermedix had computer systems that needed to be configured for installation and use, but the person who previously configured them for the company suddenly left the company and left them with nobody who knew how to configure their own systems. I was hired to figure out how to configure them. It took more than 40 hours just to learn what I did not know (you don’t know what you don’t know when you are thrown into something like this). Only then could I begin to figure out where to go for help. I learned how to configure the systems and learned how to work remotely to get people in another state to help me prep a facility for installation (computer networking, asking them to do something I needed for which I did not even have the vocabulary or training to communicate properly in the beginning). Once that was done, I worked with a tech in California to remotely configure the systems on site. Once the systems were installed, I became tech support. Trouble shooting then had to be done remotely and, if a system was down so I could not access it, I had to work with medical staff at each facility who had ZERO tech experience. I would explain over the phone what each piece of equipment looked like and then ask them to describe what they saw (was the power light on, was it connected to this other piece of equipment, etc.). Once I talked them through getting the system back on, I could log in and complete the repair. Every single step was discovering what I did not know and then figuring out how to get the resources (people, assistance and knowledge) I needed to get the job done. I was able to be an asset to Cybermedix, and I found that kind of work to be exhilarating.

So, I guess the two best jobs I had were being youth pastor and being a system configuration specialist.

Which sports teams were you a fan of as a child?

 From my Storyworth collection

This is kind of a funny question to answer. Both as a child as an adult, my “favorite” sports teams have pretty much been those of family. Ever since I can remember, my parents have been fans of the Dallas Cowboys, so much so that they call them by their first names when they yell at them on the TV! As a child, the Cowboys were my “favorite team”…I think I even had a pair of Dallas Cowboy pajamas at one point.

My family watched a lot of professional football, so growing up (in high school), I had a fairly decent a knowledge and players. Somewhere along the way, I chose the Washington Redskins as my favorite football team and actually had a Redskins sweatshirt. When I went to college outside of Chicago, I rooted for the Chicago Bears as well.

When I got to college, we did not have a TV in our room, and I was not a big fan of going down into the lounge to watch anything on the community TV. School and homework kept me busy, and I pretty much lost touch with who played for which team, etc. After that, I was never really a football fan again.

And then, in 1993 I met this crazy chick, fell in love and got married. This girl grew up playing softball and watched all kinds of sports (golf, baseball, college and pro football). Brooke is a HARD-CORE Alabama fan, so my college team of choice is, of course, Alabama. Besides wanting to support my wife, I have noticed that post game time around the house is MUCH happier when the Crimson Tide wins, so yet another reason to cheer for Alabama. The same goes for pro football. My wife was a 49ers fan when Joe Montana played there and then she converted to a Kansas City Chiefs fan (and has remained so to this day) when Montana moved there.

Brooke and I were grocery shopping today and this guy told me he liked my shirt. I bought myself this shirt I am not sure how many years ago, but it is still true today! I don’t care that much about sports, but I do LOVE my wife!

When did you get your first car?

 From my Storyworth collection

I got my first car as a graduation present…I think (1987). It was my dad’s “classic car” that he was so proud of. It was our old family car, a 1972 Chevy Impala convertible. One of the first places I remember driving it was to Steamboat Days (annual fair) on the river in Burlington, Iowa. The Beach Boys came to town, so I drove my friend Matt and myself to the concert. We put the top down and drove into town playing my Beach Boys cassette tape using an 8-track adapter in the car’s stereo!

This is not a picture of my actual car, but this is the 1972 Chevy Impala convertible, and it is the color of our car (although the paintjob on ours was more faded). The car was HUGE and huge gas guzzler.

I could not afford the gas and so my parents bought a 1980-something Ford Escort from a family at church in Burlington. I had a couple interesting stories with this car. This was my first stick shift, so I practiced driving it up and down our country roads until I was comfortable with the clutch. One of my first trips into town was to the library in downtown Burlington on a BIG hill. I pulled into a parking space going uphill so that when it was time to leave, I could push in the clutch and brake, put car in first gear, leave the clutch in and let off the brake so it would coast back out of my space. I could then brake and let the clutch out pulling forward and not have to focus on shifting the car into first gear since it was a BIG hill, and I was not really comfortable with a stick shift yet. My plan fell apart when somebody was standing next to the car to my right, waiting for me to back out so they could get in their car. I nervously put the car in reverse and back out, braked, quickly threw the car into gear and tried to pull off (going uphill). The car almost died, so I pushed in the clutch and hit the brake. I tried again and car bogged down, about ready to die. All this time, the person getting into their car was watching me and I was beginning to panic. Finally, I revved the car WAY up and was able to pull out going up the hill. The car still bogged down, but I made it. When I shifted into second gear, the car LEAPT to life! In my nervousness, I had thrown the car into third gear instead of first gear leaving my parking space. No wonder it kept trying to die and I had to rev the engine so much to make it!

Again, this is not an actual picture of my car, but mine was similar and it was tan. One day I noticed a couple rust spots on my hood, so I stopped by the auto supply store and bought some “tan” paint. I’m not sure what I was thinking, I guess “Tan car, buy ‘tan’ paint.” I had no clue about color matching, so I sanded the rust spots and applied several generous spots of primer paint. It looked pretty bad, but I wasn’t worried since I had purchased the tan paint. I covered the primer with the ‘tan’ spray paint I bought. When it dried, I had a concept of the importance of color matching! I ruined the paint job on my car. Fortunately, Dad was kind enough to do a business trade with a guy who ran an auto paint shop, so my car was soon repainted a very cool looking dark tan with gold flecks in it. It looked like a new car!

This is the car I drove to college in Kankakee, IL. My last memory with this car was when it had to go into the shop because it quit on my on the way to church one Wednesday night. I don’t remember all the details, but my church paid to have it towed to the shop of an auto repair place owned by a guy in the church. It appeared my newly discovered speed shifting skills were NOT good for my car. I am not sure what broke, but the church paid the guy at the shop what must have been a heavily discounted rate. He let me know it was a LOT of work to replace the broken part, it cost a LOT more than he charged and my speed shifting was NOT a good idea. I learned my lesson and took better care of my car after that.

Did you have any serious accidents as a child?

 From my Storyworth collection

The first serious accident of my life I only remember hearing about because I was so young when it happened, but I still carry the scar today. I had to have been less than two years old, and I understand that I found an extension cord which I put in my mouth. The crazy thing is, whatever was plugged into the extension cord was not plugged in all the way and I touched my lip to the exposed plug. I do not know all of the details of what happened, but I know it burned away part of my lip (in the very corner where my top and bottom lips meet on the right side of my mouth) and I must have had quite the scab for a while. As if this was not enough excitement for my parents, a very short time later (while my lip was still trying to heal), I fell in the bathtub. Dad was giving me a bath while Mom was at work. I guess he either stepped out of the bathroom briefly or just turned his head, but somehow, I first stood up and then slipped and fell, hitting my already-busted-open lip on the faucet. I understand that my lip then became the faucet, and I was bleeding…a LOT. For some reason, Dad thought running cold water over my cut would make it stop bleeding so that is what he was trying to do when Mom came home from work. Fortunately, Mom’s nursing/first aid skills knew I needed pressure on the wound, so she applied pressure and my lip eventually quit bleeding. Again, I’m too young to remember this, but my understanding is that the bathtub incident could have ended very badly.

On these next two, I’m not sure which came first, but I don’t think chronological order matters. Our family took several family vacations to Horn Creek family camp in Colorado and one of their activities was horseback riding. I only vaguely remember going for the ride. I both liked it and I was scared. I rode behind one of my parents, I don’t remember which it was, but at some point, the horse shied, and I fell off. I roughly remember sitting under a tree or along the trail for a while and then I guess we went back to the lodge. I do not have very vivid memories of this time, but I am told I complained of back pains after that. Some years later (again, I am told, I do not really remember), I attended a prayer meeting with Mom. I was prayed for, and Mom said I described having a warm feeling. I think she assumed that the Lord had healed my heart condition, but it turns out my back was healed at that prayer meeting, and I did not complain about back pains after that.

I got another scar as a young child around the time I was 3 years old. Mom and I went over to a friend’s house and I was told that their dog just had puppies, so I should stay out of the garage where they were being kept. My friend wanted to get something out of the garage, and I knew better than go in, but I stood by the door as he was preparing to go in. When he opened the door, I peered in, and the mother dog leapt out and bit me on the nose. Mom said panicked when she heard me screaming. Mom, ever the nurse, told her friend not to worry, she could tell by my screams that I was running to her. This is the dog bite where I rubbed my nose on the couch to avoid scratching the itch while my mom was on the phone with the doctor (read previous story for details).

When I was in preschool, I was running in a parking lot while wearing cowboy boots. Because the soles were slick, I fell and busted out my front tooth. Mom took me to the dentist, and I had to have the root of the tooth removed. It was a baby tooth that would have fallen out naturally not too much later, so I was just front toothless a short time longer than natural. I don’t think it was a serious deal, but that is where my “million-dollar tooth” (as I now call it) began. First, I busted out my baby tooth, then my permanent tooth grew in. In the 4th grade, I busted out the same tooth while swinging around a basketball goal. That tooth was temporarily capped I believe. Later I had a root canal and crown. I got braces in high school and at some point, I got my dead tooth filed down, and cap put on it so that the dead, gray top part of my tooth no longer showed. As an adult, this crown came lose. The dentist tried to glue it back on, but it did not go on right and I appeared to have a “giant tooth”. This made me very self-conscious, so I eventually had it repaired. In just a couple of years’ time, I had to have another root canal (along with the tooth next to that one). I was still having problems, so I had to have an apicoectomy which is basically a root canal on the top tip of your tooth’s root and then I had a “permanent” crown put on. That went bad, too, and I eventually had to have the tooth pulled and replaced with a bridge. All that work, over time = “million-dollar tooth”!

Since I’m sharing accidents that weren’t really serious now, just a couple more. When I was six years old there was a neighborhood cat that hung around. He was friendly most of the time which is why I had no problem petting him when he showed up in driveway and laid down for me to pet him. I now know it was NOT a good idea to try rubbing his belly. He grabbed my wrist with his front paws and scratched the SNOT out of my arm with his back legs. I just remember it was all very painful and took a while to heal.

I remember having to get stitches twice in Jr. High and High School. One time our Uncle Don was visiting, and my sister and I were playing in the back yard. The rule was no playing outside when our parents were gone (a safety thing), but since Uncle Don was there, I reasoned it was OK to play catch in the back yard while my parents were out square dancing. The ball went under a three-beam-fence, so I ran up to the fence and rolled under it to get the ball. Turns out there was a quarter of an acorn shell, with a very sharp point, on the ground right where my knee hit. Needless to say, my parents were not thrilled to come home from square dancing to take me to get stitches when we weren’t supposed to be outside in the first place.

The last story is also about getting stitches…on my 17th birthday. While Mom was in the kitchen cooking my birthday meal, I was sharpening a pocketknife on a sharpening stone. The knife slipped (newly sharpened) and sliced open my thumb. I was not serious, but I was pretty sure it would require stitches. I went in to show Mom and as I walked into the kitchen here response was, “Oh Rob, I was trying to surprise you with your birthday meal.” I apologized and told her I was pretty sure she would need to see this, and so I went to the hospital for stiches on my 17th birthday.

How have your political opinions changed over time?

 From my Storyworth collection

This question doesn’t seem as exciting as some that I have answered so far, but I guess if there’s a new question every week, they can’t all be exciting, right?

The first time I remember being aware of politics was when I was six years old and living in San Diego, CA (1976). I didn’t understand much of anything, but I knew it was election time for the President of the United States and my parents voted for Gerald Ford over Jimmy Carter, so I wanted Gerald Ford to “win”. Not only did he not win, but reading history now as an adult, I don’t think our country won in that election, either!

The first time I remember thinking politically was in 1988. The Sunday School teacher of the class I attended was very patriotic and quite political. That year, evangelist Pat Robertson was one of several who ran for the Republican nomination for President. I was taking a political science class in junior college where we had the option of writing a paper or volunteering for a political candidate. I volunteered for Pat Robertson’s campaign. My Sunday School teacher had converted part of his lawnmower shop and used it as a local campaign volunteer center. I spent a several hours there making phone calls encouraging residents of our Iowa county to attend their local meeting to vote.

I did not and do not fully understand the Iowa caucus process (furthermore, I do not know if it is the same today or not). When we were voting for a candidate to represent our party (the Republican party), we went to a person’s home near us. (There was a name for these meetings, but I cannot remember what it was.) Everybody was allowed to make a “speech” as to why their choice should be the party’s candidate. After that, we voted. I do not remember who got the most votes from our group, but it was not Pat Robertson. My understanding is, somebody from our group went to the caucus and cast a vote for the candidate our group voted for. These votes are the ones that determined our party’s nomination from the state of Iowa.

Because I was taking a political science class and because I was volunteering for a candidate, this was the first time I paid real attention to an election. I remember my political science teacher was not a conservative (liberal/conservative are labels I use now, but at the time I just knew he thought about most political issues differently than I did). As I mentioned in a previous post, back then students were allowed to have different opinions. When my professor heard I was volunteering for the Robertson campaign, he said he would like to hear more about Robertson, what I saw in him, etc., so he invited me to his office one day after school. The climate then was SO much different than it is now. My professor was a PhD and obviously would have been able to talk circles around any thoughts a freshman-just-starting-to-think-politically could express, but he asked questions, listened and was very respectful of my simple, incomplete answers. I remember sharing with him my observation about liberal bias in the media. He, of course, did not agree with my observations. As an adult living in today’s political culture, I am in shock of how kind and respectful my professor was to my conservative political opinions. At that time in my life, I was still forming and trying to understand my own political views so I’m sure my arguments were pretty weak (to put it kindly), yet Dr. Fryer showed me the utmost respect.

Sometime during college, I discovered Rush Limbaugh on the radio. I did not listen regularly, but when I did hear him, I remember thinking everything he said “made sense” to me. Around the time Bill Clinton became President, I was listening to Rush Limbaugh enough to know what was going on politically and I was a definitely a conservative. I think back then I would just have called myself a Republican. I now refer to myself as a conservative because issues are more important than party to me (but yes, the Republican party is the one closest to my conservative beliefs and opinions).

I have voted Republican every election since I was old enough to vote. I became more “serious” in politics when George W Bush became President. When President Obama was elected to office and I saw how he divided America, my conservative political opinions became much stronger. This man had a unique opportunity to draw our nation together racially, but instead, he used his opportunity to RIP OPEN a divide in our country that continues to this day.

My strong opposition to President Obama and my strong support of President Trump, led by my conservative beliefs (shaped by my faith) led to a very tight bond (in my mind) between my faith and my politics. I was unashamedly Christian and Republican because I believed that the Republican party platform most closely aligned with biblical values. This led to political posts on social media, and, for a while, I was of the outspoken opinion that Christians should be involved in politics (as Republicans, of course) because our form of government and the freedoms it gave us was a gift from God. As good stewards (both American stewards and Christian stewards), we should treasure and defend the gift God gave us.

During this time, several people in our church were very political…some from both sides of the aisle. I had several discussions with church friends who had differing political opinions than mine, but I started to notice that my political opinions and discussions made me like certain people less. When I would see them on a Sunday morning, my first thought would be of their political opinions, and I did not love them as Christ called us to love one another. Not long after this, some people left our church because their political opinions did not match those of the majority of our church. WOW…what a failure on my part and on our church’s part!

The tragedy of people leaving our church opened my eyes. I was personally convicted even though I am sure these people would say I was not one who ran them off. As I began to repent before God, I realized how many, including myself, used politics to judge others. Not only that, but if this ran Christians out of our church, how did we ever hope to make our church a welcoming place for unchurched people who would likely have different political opinions? How could we tell them about Jesus if we were making “correct” political opinions a requirement for friendship and acceptance? That is pretty much the opposite of the world knowing us by our love!

Because of this, I have stopped making political comments on social media and I do not engage with others who do. First of all, I want EVERYBODY to know Jesus and if my politics keep people from hearing me talk about Jesus…well, I just don’t need to talk about politics. Secondly, I have yet to see one single person change their mind during or after an online political debate. For me, I have to choose between loving all people and having political discussions/debates. I choose to love people.

The older I get, the more conservative I get in my political beliefs and sometimes it is hard for me to keep quiet in public discussions. But the more I see the brokenness in our fallen world, the more I want people to meet Jesus. My hope for our world lies in Jesus, not in a man-made political party. In a culture that is SO divided, I choose to try finding common ground with people and showing them respect, love and, most of all, Jesus.

What was your mom like when you were a child?

 From my Storyworth collection

When I think about my mom and how she raised me, I think of two things: 1) it seems like she had a plan from the very beginning to help me succeed as an adult and 2) she had a love for animals which she has passed along to me.

Helping Me Succeed as an Adult

Mom says I was an early talker, and she attributes that to talking to me from a very young age, and not talking to me like a baby. Mom always explained things to me simply so that I could understand whether it was teaching me how to do something new, the consequences of my actions or how to think for myself. I remember two humorous situations where I thought through things for myself and although I put some serious thought into it (as a 3–4-year-old), I came to the wrong conclusion. I remember one day Mom did something nice for me. I don’t remember what it was, but I did not thank her for it. Her exact words to me were, “You did not say thank you, kiss my foot or anything.” Even at 3 years old, I realized that I should have been more appreciative, but I did not know there was more than one way to say, “thank you”. Since I had messed up, I chose the ‘new way of saying thank you’ and I replied, “Kiss my foot.” I honestly thought I was just saying “thank you” a different way, but it took me about a second and half of reading Mom’s face to realize I messed up again. Fortunately, Mom could tell by the look on my face I did not know what I had said, and she asked me, “Do you know what ‘kiss my foot’ means?” It was explained to me that day (in simple language a 3-year-old could understand), and I never chose that ‘thank you alternative’ again.

The second humorous instance I remember honestly trying to do the right thing (while solving a problem at the same time) was when I was bitten by the neighbor’s dog, which opened up the skin on the front of my nose. While calling the doctor, Mom clearly explained, “Do NOT scratch your nose” because that would further open the wound. As Mom was describing to the doctor what happened and asking if I needed to go see him, my nose really itched. I knew I was not supposed to scratch my nose, AND I knew that the itch would go away if I rubbed my nose along the embroidery on the back of our couch (scratching was using my hand, so this did not count as scratching). By the way my mother yelled at me, I again quickly figured out, despite my best efforts to be obedient and solve a problem at the same time, rubbing my nose with the couch to make it stop itching was NOT acceptable. I have a scar on my nose demonstrating both that scratching my nose would make it scar and that scars on a man are sexy! (LOL)

Mom also taught me to respect others whether it was being kind to kids my age or looking an adult in the eyes and speaking when being spoken to. The rule at our house was, if they were 10 years older than me and my sister, we called them Mr. or Miss/Mrs.

When I was in high school, I attended an ACE school (stands for Accelerated Christian Education), and our education was self-paced. We literally had PACEs (self-study, magazine-like books) where you read, answered questions and self-tested. At the end of each PACE, you were given a written test. Generally speaking, the expected accomplishment for each grade (to graduate on time) was 12 PACEs in each subject. Ideally this would put you at PACE 144 when you graduated, but if you tested below your grade level when you came into the school (almost everybody tested low in math and I think I was low in English when I came in, too) you would have to do extra work to get to PACE 144 by graduation. Because I was college bound, I needed to be at PACE 144 in all of my subjects. I think I was motivated like most high school students, and I was doing what was required of me, but nothing more. This pace would not get me to PACE 144 in all of my subjects, so Mom had a difficult conversation with me sometime during my junior year. It was difficult because she pretty much said, “I don’t care what your excuses are, you are going to have to do extra work at get to PACE 144 in all of your subjects.” I did not like it, I probably didn’t think it was “fair”, but I learned how to look at what had to be done, break it down into doable steps, and get it done. I planned how many PACEs I needed each quarter, how long I had to complete each one, how much I needed to complete each day at school and how much I needed to complete as homework. I did 15-20% more than the required PACEs my junior and senior years, and I completed my goal (with a good GPA). Not only did this prepare me for college academically, but this taught me to set goals, organize myself and excel both in college and in future jobs.

This was me tickling Mom and her “defense move” (maybe THIS is why I have that scar on my nose!)

This picture was taken around my senior year in 1987.

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Speaking of being prepared for college, Mom also made sure I was prepared for life on my own. I did not have to cook for myself in college (thanks to a cafeteria plan), but I knew how to prepare simple meals and could cook for myself. I also knew how to wash clothes, make a bed (complete with hospital corners thanks to Mom’s nursing background) and keep my room clean. When I got married, my wife did not have to pick up after me or care for me like a kid.

Which brings me to another area where Mom helped prepare me for life…how to treat my wife. I’m still a guy and have had my fair share of “dumb guy moments”, but from the time I was old enough to understand, Mom spent time explaining to me how women think and feel different than men. At age 53, I still do not have this all figured out, but I entered into marriage understanding my wife will not see the world as I do, and if I want her to feel loved, I’m going to have to take that into account when I act. Brooke and I have been married 29 years this year and I attribute much of our making it through the first years to the things my mom taught me.

My Love for Animals

I think I will save a list of all the animals I had growing up for a separate post, but I will say we always had animals growing up because Mom was an animal lover. I’m not sure people (i.e., your parents) can make you an animal lover, I think the animals themselves do that. But when you are raised by an animal lover who takes good care of the animals, I think that’s highly likely to rub off on you. I appreciate that I not only got to experience being around a lot of different kinds of pets growing up, but Mom also taught me how to care for them not just when it was ‘fun’, but every day like their lives depended on me. I learned not to forget to keep water in the dog’s bowl by going half a day without water! I know, this would probably be considered ‘child abuse’ today. I don’t remember thinking of was going to die of thirst (so it may not have been a literal half day), but I do remember ‘lesson learned’. Pets really do depend on us for everything, and I’m glad my mom taught me how to care for them.

This was an article the local newspaper ran on Mom (a.k.a. “Nona” thanks to the reporter's typo) and her pet skunk, Tobias

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Mom loved her cats. This was 2 of the 26 cats (literally) we had when we lived in the country in Iowa.

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Mom Through the Various Stages of Life

When I was little, she was Mommy who loved and cared for me. In elementary school, she taught me how to learn and be respectful of others. In junior high, she taught me how to care for myself and learn the skills I would need for life. In high school, she taught me to set goals, challenge myself and work hard to achieve those goals. In college and Bible college, she supported me, and I image prayed a lot for me. After I married, she listened a lot and had advice when asked.

Now that I’m older (and she’s even OLDER!), I have the opportunity to care for her like she did for me. Caring for a parent is not like caring for a kid and being cared for by your kid is not something that comes naturally when you’re used to being self-sufficient. We’re still working it out, but we have a lot of years of LOVE behind us and we’re figuring it out as we go along. She has been there for me all of these years so I will definitely be there for her. Ha! I bet she’s glad now that she invested all of that time into helping me become a decent adult who loves and respects others and knows how to accept responsibility!

Mom and me at Amanda and Canaan’s wedding (2018)

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Mom and me grabbing lunch at Steak and Shake (2019)

What has your Jesus journey been like?

 From my Storyworth collection

No sharing of my life’s stories would be complete without sharing about my Jesus journey. My relationship with Jesus is a journey that started when I was a child, is currently ongoing and will not end until I see my Jesus face to face.

Like all of us, I was created to have a relationship with God. I am thankful that my journey began at a young age. I grew up in a Christian home going to church. I remember one day at our church in San Diego (around 1976, age 6) the teacher talked about God’s love for us and Jesus dying for our sins. She asked if anybody wanted to ask Jesus into their hearts. I clearly remember thinking, as a 6-year-old, “I’ve heard this story before, and I believe it, but I have never responded.” That day, I raised my hand, asked Jesus for forgive me of my sin and come into my heart.

I grew up in Sunday School, so I learned all of the Bible stories. I learned them and I believed them. I don’t remember a whole lot more about my spiritual journey until 6th grade. We moved from Broken Arrow, Oklahoma to Burlington, Iowa. I don’t know if it was moving out of the Bible Belt or moving into Jr. High (6-8th grade was Jr high), but there was a major shift in the atmosphere at my new school. There were not many Christian kids in my school. I knew Jesus but was not really sold out for Him, so I struggled but did not really turn to Him for help. It was a MISERABLE year for me.

As my 7th grade year was approaching, my parents asked me about attending the Christian school in town. We (my parents, my sister and I) checked it out and both my sister and I were enrolled. We attended Burlington Christian School and First Assembly in Burlington (the church that hosted the school). Those six years from 7th grade to graduation were so good for my Christian faith…a real foundation was laid.

Another significant milestone in my journey happened during this time when I was in the 10th grade. One Sunday night I was at church with my girlfriend (we both played trumpet during worship on Sunday nights from time to time) and the teaching was about being filled with the Holy Spirit. My girlfriend went to the front to be prayed for, so I went and stood behind her to pray for her (I am not sure why I did that…it was God). Next thing I knew as they were coming down the line praying for people, I started praying in tongues. I was standing BEHIND the prayer line, nobody laid hands on me, and nobody prayed for me, but the Holy Spirit filled me that night.

The next big step in my spiritual journey was my freshman year in college. I attended the junior college in Burlington, and I remember a discussion about abortion in one of my classes. The professor and the class were not Christian nor pro-life, but back then diverse opinions were allowed. I was asked why I felt abortion was wrong and I knew the “answer” was because it killed the baby. I was then asked, “What about… (this and that hypothetical situation, difficulty, etc.)”. I had no answer because in my Christian school, I had been taught all the Christian “answers”. It’s not that the answers were wrong, but very quickly I figured out I had learned to parrot the answers, but I had not wrestled with the questions for myself. That year of junior college was another year of great spiritual growth as I learned to understand why I believed what I believed, to own my faith and to be bold sharing it with others.

My sophomore-senior years in college were spent in Kankakee, IL. When I arrived at Olivet Nazarene University, it was never a question of “if” I would go to church, I just had to find one. It was the first time I ever had to find a church on my own. I went one week to the campus Nazarene church, and it was not really for me. The next week I went to the other Nazarene church in town and although it was freer in worship, it still did not feel like “home”. Before the Internet, you had to use a phone book to find a church. I don’t remember what “label” I looked up, but I found Peoples Church and decided to visit there. That church was definitely a God appointment! Because the University in town was a Nazarene university, most students were Nazarene and attended those churches. I was pretty much the only college age kid at Peoples Church, and they not only welcomed me but very soon adopted me. I LOVED that church family!

Not long after beginning to attend the church, I heard about a meeting regarding the youth ministry and an invitation for anybody who wanted to help. I went to the meeting, listened to the need and offered to provide rides for students needing a ride to or from the church. I remember going home that night, very excited at the thought of helping with the youth ministry and telling God, “Lord, if there is anything else you want me to do besides giving rides, I will do it.” Two days later I got a phone call from the volunteer at the church who was going to lead the newly formed youth ministry. He said, “I volunteered to do this because I love students and our church does not have a youth ministry, but my work schedule keeps me very busy. I will be there on Wednesday nights, but would you consider leading the youth meetings?” I hardly had time to process this when I heard the Lord say, “You offered. There ya’ go.” And so started my time in youth ministry.

As the Lord began to lead me in this ministry, I remembered back to a convention I had attended during high school with my Christian school. One night during the convention, an altar call was given for vocational ministry. I responded feeling the Lord was calling me into ministry, but it was odd because I never thought about it too much after that night. I had never questioned what kind of ministry and I did not plan a career in ministry. It is almost as if I responded that night and did not think about it again until the Lord reminded me of it as I was in the midst of starting youth ministry.

For three years I served in the youth ministry at Peoples Church leading the Wednesday night youth service, helping with youth Sunday, going on youth outings and taking kids on retreats. As graduation was approaching my senior year, Pastor Terry called me into his office for a meeting. He asked me my plans for the future, and I told him I wanted to attend Bible college and be a youth pastor. He talked to me about a Bible college in Chicago, offered some tuition help and a position at the church as youth pastor. As he was talking, the conversation playing in my heart and in my head was, “This is absolutely my DREAM scenario.” I was familiar with that Bible school, I LOVED Peoples Church and that is where I wanted to serve. But at the same time, I knew that was not the Lord’s plan for me. I told Pastor Terry I was flattered and could think of nothing I would rather do, but I would have to pray about it because I sensed the Holy Spirit was leading me in another direction. I did not know what that other direction was, but I knew, and I trusted Him. I was sad, but I knew God had another plan.

As God closed that door, He opened the door for me to attend Christ for the Nations. I moved to Dallas, began attending classes and looking for a local church internship as youth pastor. I was offered a position at one church but knew that was not what God had for me. I met with Brad Howard, the director of the youth program a CFNI and asked for counsel. Should I intern at a big church and gain experience there or look for a small church to lead the youth ministry? Brad encouraged me to find a church where I could lead the youth ministry, so I did. A friend invited Brooke and I (I will save the story of “How I met your mother” for its own post) to attend the church where our friend worked in the nursery. Brooke and I liked the church (Trinity New Life Fellowship) and as I tell people “It just so happened” that they were looking for a youth pastor. Pastor David took me under his wing and mentored me in ministry. Brooke and I were married at the church, I volunteered as youth pastor, was brought on part-time, and then went full-time as secretary and youth pastor when our secretary got married and left. Sometime later I was able to go on as full-time youth pastor until 2002 when my heart for ministry changed and I became the administrative pastor at the church where I still serve today (now called Vine Fellowship).

Sometime during the mid-nineties, some of our staff attended a prayer conference. I was not that excited about it, but it was a staff thing, so I went. It was here that I was introduced to the idea of prayer journaling. After salvation and being filled with the Holy Spirit, this ranked as the next biggest thing in my personal relationship with the Lord. I had prayed most all of my life and I knew God heard me, but I never was really able to say, “This is what God said to me today” before that conference. I was taught to write down my prayer to the Lord and then ask, “Lord, what would you say to me?” either with a specific question or in a general sense. Then, as soon as thoughts started coming, write them down. Don’t pause. Don’t analyze, just write. The basic premise was, “God speaks to us through our thoughts, so ask Him to speak and then write down what comes to you.” After you have written down what you heard, THEN it is ok to analyze and judge the word. It is ok to read it to a friend or spiritual leader and ask, “Does this sound like God to you?”, especially if the word gives some sort of direction. I think the biggest take-away from learning how to do this is how GREAT God’s love is for me. I have always been so hard on myself, but God is not. When I mess up, I write out my prayer and repent. God’s answer is usually something along the lines, “Yes, that was wrong, and you know it. Don’t’ do it again. I forgive you and love you, now let’s move on and do this…” I do not take my sin lightly and neither does God, but He doesn’t beat me over the head with confessed sin. He acknowledges and accepts my repentance, forgives me and then shows me where to go from there. I can pray without journaling, but I have found nothing that makes it easier for me to hear God speaking to me than through what I call “two-way prayer journaling”.

Lastly, two other significant steps in my spiritual journey. I will cover them briefly because I cannot point to a specific time as when these steps happened. They happened over time and were not related to any particular event other submitting my heart to Jesus. The first step has to do with loving people. My personality, ever since I was started testing and analyzing it in my college psych classes, has always been task oriented. I did not dislike people, but I found that people could be a hinderance when I had a task that needed to be done. Even in ministry it meant, “I don’t have time for people, I have a job to do.” Over the years, even though I am still task-driven, the Lord has given me a LOVE for people. I used to be uncomfortable with people one-on-one, but now I enjoy meeting new people and having the luxury of sitting down with them and hearing their story. I love to hear people’s story.

And the most recent step in my spiritual journey (which has been taking place over the past SEVERAL years) is my falling in love with Jesus in a new way. Besides being task oriented, I was also very legalistic. Because I loved Jeus, I tried to follow all of the rules. It’s still in my nature to be a rule-follower, but in my walk with the Lord, I now focus on giving my heart to Jesus. When He has my heart, when I fully love Him, my actions will follow. In the midst of this learning process, the Lord gave me this prayer during my journaling time. It has become my life’s prayer: “Help me to keep in step with the Holy Spirit so that I might bring honor to Jesus and a smile to the Father’s face.” I can tear up just thinking about bringing a smile to my Father’s face…there is nothing I want more.

I will close with my three life verses and the lyrics to the song that has become my heart’s cry.

“Now without faith it is impossible to please God, since the one who draws near to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” ~Hebrews 11:6 (NLT). I will be one who seeks Him!

“We cared so much for you that we were pleased to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us. ” ~1 Thes. 2:8 (CSB). This is my ministry life verse.

“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with you all. ” ~2 Thes. 3:16 (NET). This is a blessing the Lord gave me specifically for officers any time I get to share with them. I also have the privilege of speaking this blessing over our congregation each Sunday as we are dismissed.

Lastly, I will end with the words to the song “Lifesong” by Casting Crowns. If I were to put the cry of my heart into words, this is what it would be:

Empty hands held high

Such small sacrifice

Not joined with my life

I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say

And the things I do

Make my lifesong sing

Bring a smile to you

Let my lifesong sing to you

Let my lifesong sing to you

I want to sign your name

To the end of this day

Lord led my heart was true

Let my lifesong sing to you

Lord I give my life

A living sacrifice

To reach a world in need

To be your hands and feet

So may the words I say

And the things I do

Make my lifesong sing

Bring a smile to you

Let my lifesong sing to you

Let my lifesong sing to you

I want to sign your name

To the end of this day

Lord led my heart was true

Let my lifesong sing to you

Hallelujah, Hallelujah let my lifesong sing to you

Hallelujah, Hallelujah let my lifesong sing to you

Hallelujah, Hallelujah let my lifesong sing to you

Let my lifesong sing to you

Let my lifesong sing to you

I want to sign your name

To the end of this day

Lord led my heart was true

Let MY lifesong sing to you