You Might Be a Redneck If...

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God.'

You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'

You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.

You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.

You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.

You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

Rob's new Toy

Twitter Update From Wilbur

Made Me Laugh

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."

Adam said, "Gladly ,Lord, what do You want me to do?"

God said, "Go down into that valley."

Adam said, "What's a valley?"

God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river."

Adam said, "What's a river?"

God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill...."

Adam said, "What is a hill?"

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."

Adam said, 'What's a cave?'

After God explained, He said, "In the cave you will find a woman."

Adam said, "What's a woman?'

So God explained that to him, too. Then, God said, 'I want you to reproduce."

Adam said, "How do I do that?"

God first said (under His breath), "Really?" And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.

Then, in about five minutes, he was back.

God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"

And Adam said....

"What's a headache?"

US Capitol Tour With David Barton

Pick Up, Amanda!

I was at work today and Amanda called me on Skype (we live in the church parsonage so she was literally next door, we have no home phone, Amanda's cell phone is pre-paid and so Skype is cheaper).

"Dad, did you just call me on your old cell phone?"

"No, sweetheart. I did not call. The phone is turned off and nobody can call it."

"But Dad, it rang twice. There was a message that said, 'Pick up, Amanda'. I thought you were trying to call me."

"Amanda, the phone was turned off when I got my new cell phone. Nobody can call."

"Dad! There were two messages that said, 'Pick up, Amanda.' One was from yesterday and one was from today."

"Amanda, I use the checkbook on that phone and it automatically updates my calendar. Maybe you were seeing some kind of calendar reminder."

"No, Dad! It was a message that said, 'Pick up, Amanda'" (Amanda was pretty freaked out by the personal nature of the message to her, and the more I told her it was not me, the more worried she became).

Finally, the light dawned on me. "Oh, Amanda. Sweetheart, I put "Pick Up Amanda" on my calendar for yesterday and today because Mommy was out of town and I was picking you up from school. Those were calendar reminders that I had set up for the "Pick Up Amanda" events on my calendar!"

It's Nice To Be Appreciated

First I helped install the lights on the Sunday School building (that's when I handed the tools to Ed). Then, I fixed them when they did not work (that's when I turned on the light switch). Yesterday, I switched out the motion sensors for photo cells so the lights would come on and stay on at dusk...and it worked! I informed everybody in the office that I was now a Junior Electrician, Level II. When I looked in my box this morning, I found this name badge that Tammy created for me (click on image to enlarge). It's nice to be appreciated!

Junior Electician

I am adding the title "Junior Electrician" to my job description. Yesterday, I found two problems and fixed the wiring on the church trailer. Today, I fixed the new lights on the Sunday School Building.

Tuesday evening, I helped (read: handed tools to) Ed Siverson put new motion sensor lights on the four corners of the Sunday School building. We wanted to test them when we were done, but they did not come on. We thought, perhaps, since they also had light sensors that we had to wait until dark for them to come on.

I'm a bit embarrassed to say so, but I forgot to check the lights Tuesday night to see if they came on. Even worse, when I did remember to check them on Wednesday night, they did not work. It seemed our security light wires had become a casualty of a 'wiring incident' we had a couple months ago.

After thinking about the problem all night and what had been done to the building to fix the wiring problems, I thought I knew where the problem might be. Now, I don't want to brag, but I figured this out on my own without any formal electrician's training. I thought it would be easiest to describe how I fixed the issue with a picture...so here it is:

And sure enough, the lights work now!

Humor

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

The little old man looked at the preacher and calmly said, 'Well......she's there.'

Don't Be Silly!

All At Once

So, today was an interesting day. Right now, I am sitting in my office with a new 8,000 BTU window unit blowing cold air. It took about 3 hours to cool the room. Amanda is sleeping with an old window unit in her window, and it too is blowing cold air. Brooke is asleep in our room with an extension cord going from the living room to an old window unit that only blows cool air now. In the living room, we another new 8,000 BTU window unit blowing cold air, and in the kitchen, we have an extension cord so the refrigerator can keep running.

As they do in the TV show Flashpoint, let's go back 5 hours.

At 5:00PM, Brooke called to ask if I was coming home. She said the lights in the house kept dimming and the window unit AC in our bedroom was having problems because the power was surging. She said it was hot in the house, too (it's always hot at this time of the year, but it was hotter than usual). I was home in 5 minutes only to find the AC unit outside NOT working. I came inside to check on the power surges, and that's when I found out that one of our breakers must have blown, too. No, the breaker did not "trip", it blew. That is, it said "ON" but nobody's home (and the lights aren't on). Yes, I turned it off and then back on several times and that did not fix the problem.

And that's how we got to where we are now with the 4 window units and two extension cords. We could go to my parents' house in Duncanville or our pastor's house, but we've cooled off now and want to stay in our home. Guess we'll see what kind of 'good news' the electrician and AC guy bring tomorrow. Over the phone, the electrician said it sounded like our outside AC unit locked up and the amp draw drawing to start it probably messed with the breaker. Praying for a fix that does not require a new AC right now!

Back Yard Squirrel

This is one of our back yard buddies. It's hard to tell from this perspective, but he's literally "hanging out" in our tree in the back yard. The first time I saw him do this, I thought he was dead. He's got his "arm pit" propped up on the edge of the knot hole and his little leg is just dangling. He's done this for two days now so I had to take a picture today.

12 of 12 May 2010

#1 - 7:18 AM - Finishing up some homework before school.

#2 - 7:20 AM - Went out to feed the turtles. Grumpy had crawled up on the brick wall and was going for a morning walk.

#3 - 7:43 AM - Making Amanda's lunch for the day...including the lunch napkin poem for the day.

#4 - 10:12 AM - Second day Dad came out to help me reside the church lawn mower shed.

#5 - 12:48 PM - Look at me...Mr. Power Tools!

#6 - 12:50 PM - Still working on the mower shed. Second day Dad helped me work...second day threat of rain came out of nowhere!

#7 - 6:23 PM - Siding finished and all the stuff has been put back in the shed. All that is left is painting (my favorite part...NOT!)

#8 - 7:38 PM - OK, it's not the coolest looking hat, but it definitely keeps me cooler while I'm working outside. I went looking for one of these hats after sun burning my neck one too many times.

#9 - 9:20 PM - Nightly ritual...praying with Amanda (and doing some extra talking, too!)

#10 - 9:24 PM - Brooke watching some TV while the puppies chill. I think she's waiting for me to finish praying with Amanda so we can watch one or two of our Wednesday night shows.

#11 - 10:20 PM - Gotta love DVRs! Sitting down to watch my favorite TV show.

#12 - 1:06 AM - Cutting out a new set of bookmarks for my 10 List Bible reading.

How NOT To Be Rude With Your Cell Phone

Here are a few points from Tim Steven's blog post, "Wherever You Are...Be Fully There". Thought these were definitely worth repeating.

• When you start a meeting, turn your ringer off and move it away from you. If the screen comes to life when you get a text–then put the phone upside down so you won’t see it. If it is likely to vibrate, then put it somewhere it can’t be felt or heard.
• If your phone does vibrate during the meeting and your guest says, “Go ahead and take that if you need to” — reach down and silence it without even looking. This communicates to your guest that they are very valuable to you.
• Don’t buy into the “what if there is an emergency?” line. Rarely does that happen. It’s not a good excuse for having to look at your phone multiple times through every meeting.
• If you know you will need to be reached during the meeting, let your guest know, “My wife is at the doctors office and may need to reach me, so I apologize in advance that I’ll be taking her call when it comes.” That tells your guest this is an exception–you wouldn’t normally do this.
• If you are in a meeting with multiple people–follow the same rules. Don’t convince yourself that your participation isn’t needed right now so you can disengage and respond to texts or play your next turn in Words With Friends.We fool ourselves into thinking we can multitask, or that our disengagement won’t be noticed for a few minutes. Not true.

This Too Shall pass

You May Be Taliban If...

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

11. Your cousin is president of the United States

Why Men and Women Have Such a Difficult Time Understanding Each Other

Geocaching Find #700

I still enjoy geocaching, but since I started teaching school on my day off, I have not had as many opportunities to go out. But while Brooke and Amanda were in Alabama, I took a few days off work (and it's summer so I'm not teaching), so I took advantage of the time to grab six quick caches and log find #700! (June 24, 2010)

Yes, that's a 35mm film container. My 700th find was actually a very simple hide sometimes called a "lamp post" or "lamp skirt" cache. Can you guess where they are hidden?

Proud To Live In Texas

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a Story in the LA Times read: " California archaeologists, finding of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers".

One week later. A local newspaper in Texas reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Maypearl, Texas, Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless".

Just makes a person proud to live in Texas, don't it.

S.P.E.C.K. of Truth

I follow the blog of Mark Batterson, lead Pastor of National Community Church. I just discovered their "From the Garden to the City" Bible reading plan for 2010 and Pastor Heather Zempel's short video on how to read the Bible. She suggested reading for a "SPECK of Truth". Here's what the acronym stands for:

• Is there a SIN for me to avoid?
• Is there a PROMISE from God for me to claim?
• Is there an EXAMPLE for me to follow?
• Is there a COMMANDMENT for me to obey?
• How can this passage increase my KNOWLEDGE about God or about Jesus Christ or the Holy Spirit?

I am always looking for tools to help me apply God's Word to my everyday life, and I thought this was worth sharing. You can see the whole video clip here or this seems to be the same material Pastor Heather was sharing.