No Arks for Me

There are MANY things the Lord does that my little mind cannot understand, but there is one thing I totally understand. I know why God did not arrange for me to be born back in Noah's time and task me with the responsibility of building the ark. The main reason is the time factor. Had I been born back then and given that responsibility, you never would have heard the story of the Flood because it would not be in the Bible...for the simple reason that I'd still be working on the ark today!

If you are wondering where I came up with this interesting take on this old Bible classic, I'll give you a hint...I've been working on my "three month office remodeling project" tonight. You could change the task, but this story is repeated OVER and OVER and OVER again every time I attempt a "home improvement" project.

I already blogged about my venture to repaint my office. Here's how it's going:

• I have ONE wall completely painted...with Kilz (which means I still have a top coat to go)
• All the trim is taken down
• I painted some of the trim only to find out the black paint I had was too flat, so along with the 600 other pieces of trim I have, I get to repaint that first batch
• I have water damage in a couple places on my ceiling. I have no experience (nor desire to gain experience) with taping and bedding. My solution: scrape off the damaged "popcorn" texture and paint from the ceiling thus exposing the UGLY sheet rock and cracks between the sheet rock, caulk the cracks between the sheet rock and spray some of this canned popcorn ceiling texture stuff on the ceiling; paint.
• I tried the above procedure tonight only to find out that the spray texture idea is a ABYSMAL failure! First of all, one can supposedly covers six square feet of ceiling. For some reason, in my mind, that meant six feet by six feet squared. (Thank you, I now realize that would have been 36 square feet so need to comment on that!). This miscalculation was fortunate for me because I would have WASTED so much more money buying enough to cover my bare spots. Anyway, I prepped the area (sorta) and sprayed. When I was done, everything but the ceiling had texture on it....my carpet, the couch, my bean bag chair, the paneling that was supposed to stay brown, my vacuum cleaner and, of course, ME.
• I also tried this procedure in my bathroom which has the worst water damage. Besides the texture being sprayed on everything in there, my ceiling now looks much worse. So, when I finally do get my office finished, I get to repaint the ceiling in my bathroom. How much fun is that?
• Oh yes, I almost forgot the primer coat I put on all the closet doors last week. For some really dumb reason, I thought taking the doors off the hinges would make it easier to paint them. WRONG! I guess if I had a workshop to put them/paint them in, it would have been OK. But it was NOT a good idea to lay them flat across the back of two chairs and try to paint them in my office. The doors took up too much space which made it a real pain to get to the bathroom to wet the washcloth and keep walking back and forth wiping up the paint I kept splattering on the carpet.
  

So, near as I can tell, here is all I have left to do:

• Put primer coat on three more walls
• Put top coat on all four walls
• Paint ceiling
• Paint trim
• Put trim (all 600 pieces) back on the walls
• Top coat on closet doors and put door knobs back on (except for the one door that had the door knob GLUED ON by the previous owner...no joke)
• Buy and hang blinds (to replace the towel now nailed to the window frame)
• Repaint bathroom

At this rate, I'm fairly certain I can be done by the end of March!