Today is your mom's and my 29th anniversary, so this seemed like a good question to answer today.
I met your mother at Christ for the Nations Institute (CFNI) in August of 1991. We had to arrive on campus the weekend before classes started and we were required to play "orientation games." The purpose of the games was to help you get to know other students, but not being a people person and being rather competitive, I was more into winning the game. I cannot remember how the games went, but I remember one game where we had to ask people questions and I think the questions were divided into lists so there were other people asking the same questions you were (which meant that they were "competition" because the goal was to be the first person to get answers to all your questions.) There was this one southern girl that must have had the same list I did because I kept bumping into her and we were asking the same questions. She was obviously WAY more into meeting people than in winning the game. She seemed to think it was funny that we kept bumping into each other and asking the same questions (despite the fact that this was slowing me down and keeping me from winning the game). I was not successful at winning the game, nor was I successful at staying upset with this girl whom I could not help but notice was particularly cute.
Later that day, we were in line for dinner. The line in the cafeteria was like the line at an amusement park with the ropes strung so that you had to weave back and forth as the line moved. It just so happened that this cute southern girl I met during the orientation games was in line, too. I could not remember her name, but we all had to wear our student ID, so each time the line weaved around, very slyly, I would try to see the name on her badge. This became frustrating because her student ID said "Angela" and although I did not remember her name, that just didn't sound right. When I said I "very slyly" tried to see the name on her ID, I must have been "sly" only in my head. About the 3rd time we passed, this girl looked me in the eye and said, "Hi, I'm Brooke". BUSTED! This was not the last dork move I would make during our relationship!
So I said hello and sat next to Brooke and some other friends she had already met (yup, she was a people person way back then). And then several times that week we sat together with friends. And then we hung out (with friends) more. Yeah, she was a lot of fun to be around. And THIS became a problem. You see, I came to CFNI to follow Jesus and I had "sworn off" girls. I didn't think relationships were bad, but I had a very serious relationship in college that did not end as I had hoped that it would, and it was hard on me. When I came to Bible college, I told Jesus I was ready to focus on Him and what He wanted to do in my life. I was not there to be sidetracked by a relationship. This was part pure desire to follow Jesus and part a defense mechanism I believe. Regardless, Brooke and I started hanging out more...with friends and just the two of us. This led to my second BIG DORK move.
This cute southern girl caught my eye, caught my attention and was starting to tug at my heart. But I knew I was there to follow Jesus and not be sidetracked with relationships. So...how to explain this to my new friend? This is what I came up with: get a picture of my old girlfriend, show it to my new friend, tell her about the tragic ending of my previous relationship and then let her know "you and I are just friends because I'm following Jesus." Yup, I was THAT smooth.
At this point, everybody, including me, is wondering how I ended up celebrating 29 years of marriage to this beautiful woman. I am not sure...it had to be the grace of God and, I don't know, did I totally bewilder Brooke, so she had no idea what to think? Man am I ever glad she didn't give up on me after that stupid move.
Despite my ignorance, my heart before the Lord was pure. I was talking to Him about this girl. "God, I really like her. I don't just like her, but I'm having feelings towards her and that is a problem because I am here to focus on You and not on relationships." There were actually a few things in my life I had given up at the time because I wanted to take full advantage of my time in Bible college to hear from the Lord about what He had for my life and to draw closer to Him. Thankfully God was patient with me. He made it clear to me that being attracted to this girl was not at odds with following Him wholeheartedly.
Well, once God and I were on the same page about that, I became a bit worried I had blown it with Brooke. I had put us in the friend zone, but I did NOT like seeing her with other guy friends. I don't remember what all I did trying to fix my super blunder, but I remember going on a hayride in October that year and I reached over to hold her hand. My little heart leapt for joy, and I guess it was kinda a big deal for her too because she later told me she called her Momma that night and told her, "He held my hand!"
My feelings continued to grow toward Brooke and somehow, I came up with a better way to communicate my feelings for her and for the Lord at the same time. One night we ended up at Kidville in Duncanville (a playground with a HUGE wooden playground that Brooke and I enjoyed going to with our friends...but it was just the two of us that night). I explained again (this time WITHOUT the picture of my ex-girlfriend) that I came to Bible college to pursue Jesus. Although my intention was not to involve myself in a relationship, I found that I had feelings for her. Instead of being a dork again, I explained that I had prayed about it and did not think my feelings towards her would distract me from following Jesus, but I did not want a casual relationship. I was headed into ministry, I had feelings for her, and if she was OK with both of those things and would like to see where that went, I would like that. I told her I loved her. Thankfully, she returned my "I love you" and that was our first kiss!
So we became a couple. We still hung out with friends a lot, we hunted for (and found) a church together and ended up leading the youth group at Trinity New Life Fellowship together. As we became closer and I could see us together in the future, doing ministry, I began to dream about a life together with Brooke. During this time, a fellow student made a very public proposal to his girlfriend in one of our classes. As Brooke and I were talking about it later, she said, "You'd never do something like that!" It wasn't a "please do" or "please don't", it was really an observation of my not being a public/people person. I knew then and there when it came time to propose to this girl, it was going to have to be big and public. She liked what she saw that day and I wanted to make her happy.
Before I could propose to Brooke, I knew I had to have her parents’ permission. As it "just so happened", Brooke wanted to go home to visit her family for Spring Break, so she invited our mutual friend Sharon and me to go with her. Of course I agreed; not only would it be fun, but it would be the chance I needed to have a conversation with her dad. Brooke's mom and the girls had gone to bed, so it was a perfect time to talk to her dad, but as I was nervously thinking about the conversation, my stomach became a bit unsettled. My "intestinal distress" led to some "pressure relief" which I INSTANTLY regretted. It was silent but DEADLY. I knew it was gonna be a room-filler, but to my future father-in-law's credit, his only comment to me was "Do you feel better, son?" Somehow, I was able to overcome this, ask his permission and receive his blessing to ask Brooke to be my wife.
As I tried to come up with an appropriate way to propose to the love of my life, I hit upon the idea of proposing to her in front of our church family. Pastor David was agreeable to the idea, so I planned it for a Sunday morning. I had an announcement to make about an upcoming youth event, so I got up on stage and then asked Brooke to come help me make the announcement. She was not thrilled with that idea, but she did not suspect a thing. She joined me on stage, I stumbled through my announcement, then I nudged her a bit to the side, dropped down to one knee and proposed. She said "Yes!"
And that is what led up to Saturday, June 12, 1993, when
Angela Brooke Bartholomew became Angela Brooke Hurt. We are living happily ever
after.
