Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.
As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
"I'm entering!" said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"
"First Place!," said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."
"I'm entering," says Superman. After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"First Place ," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"
They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"
So Pinocchio enters.
After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"Oh, What happened?" they asked.
"Who is Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
12 of 12 - August 2009
The Basic Idea: 12 pictures of your life on the 12th of each month. I decided to try and use my cell phone this month. Although I LOVE my new smartphone which I received for Father's Day, I have not been real impressed with the pictures it takes. I was happy today when I imported my pictures into Google's Picasa 3 as it cleaned up the pictures VERY nicely. I was not so happy when I found out that I accidentally changed the picture settings on my phone to very tiny 320x240 pictures! Oh well, here's my small pictures from August.
01 - Starting the morning off right. Those eggs are almost pretty enough to be in a picture.
02 - Luck me...August 12 Tarrant Country jury duty. I was fortunate as the trial I was assigned to got dismissed as soon as the jury was assigned. Went to pick up my $6 and was outa there by 10:30am.
03 - See the little poles and straps for the lines of people? When we were told to line up, I started down my end. I looked up and saw people coming in from the other end as well. I paused to make sure I was going through the right way when this lady behind me said "Excuse me. Are you walking?" All I could come up with was, "I'm working on it", but I really wanted to reply with the same "kind" tone she was using and say, "Look, lady. I'm not sure what you are in such a hurry for. It's not like we're going to miss standing in line if we don't run to take our place. But if you're in such an all-fire hurry, but all means, go in front of me!" ('I'm working on it' probably sounded more Christ-like, but I don't think I get credit for that based on what went though my mind and what I really wanted to say to the pushy old lady).
04 - Amanda's been doing two math sheets each morning to be all refreshed and ready or the school year. She's working on reducing and improper fractions here.
05 - Every Wednesday I have lunch with my friend, George. It's one of the highlights of my week.
06 - Operation Backpack was this Saturday. I was getting everything ready.
07 - Pastor Philip's dog, Ranger was visiting for the week. Here he is sitting on the couch with Sully.
08 - Ranger's handiwork.
09 - Birthday Dog! It was Boo's 8th birthday.
10 - Although it may look more like a head lock, Brooke was actually loving on Sully trying to help him feel better. He was a bit insecure with Ranger being at the house...he wasn't quite sure where he fell in the pecking order.
11 - Ranger at the dog park playing with a new friend.
12 - Ranger worn out at the end of the day after meeting EVERY SINGLE DOG and trying to wrestle with them at the dog park.
01 - Starting the morning off right. Those eggs are almost pretty enough to be in a picture.
02 - Luck me...August 12 Tarrant Country jury duty. I was fortunate as the trial I was assigned to got dismissed as soon as the jury was assigned. Went to pick up my $6 and was outa there by 10:30am.
03 - See the little poles and straps for the lines of people? When we were told to line up, I started down my end. I looked up and saw people coming in from the other end as well. I paused to make sure I was going through the right way when this lady behind me said "Excuse me. Are you walking?" All I could come up with was, "I'm working on it", but I really wanted to reply with the same "kind" tone she was using and say, "Look, lady. I'm not sure what you are in such a hurry for. It's not like we're going to miss standing in line if we don't run to take our place. But if you're in such an all-fire hurry, but all means, go in front of me!" ('I'm working on it' probably sounded more Christ-like, but I don't think I get credit for that based on what went though my mind and what I really wanted to say to the pushy old lady).
04 - Amanda's been doing two math sheets each morning to be all refreshed and ready or the school year. She's working on reducing and improper fractions here.
05 - Every Wednesday I have lunch with my friend, George. It's one of the highlights of my week.
06 - Operation Backpack was this Saturday. I was getting everything ready.
07 - Pastor Philip's dog, Ranger was visiting for the week. Here he is sitting on the couch with Sully.
08 - Ranger's handiwork.
09 - Birthday Dog! It was Boo's 8th birthday.
10 - Although it may look more like a head lock, Brooke was actually loving on Sully trying to help him feel better. He was a bit insecure with Ranger being at the house...he wasn't quite sure where he fell in the pecking order.
11 - Ranger at the dog park playing with a new friend.
12 - Ranger worn out at the end of the day after meeting EVERY SINGLE DOG and trying to wrestle with them at the dog park.12 of 12 - July 2009
The Basic Idea: 12 pictures of your life on the 12th of each month. Here's my July. We were in Alabama visiting Brooke's family on the way back from the Liberty Family summer conference in Lake Junaluska, NC.
01 - Amanda playing in MawMaw Brenda's closet. It was hot in there, but she didn't seem to notice.
02 - There was a surprise 70th birthday party for Brooke's Dad at the church. Friends and family were there to celebrate with him.
03 - Here's the golf cart that was on the birthday cake...they got it off before I could take a picture.
04 - Dad's surprise birthday party. Here he is next to his sister, Judy and son, Scott, taking the picture.
05 - Brooke and her sister, Jill, serving at the party.
06 - My nephew, David, is now driving.
07 - Amanda with cousins Hannah and David.
08 - Brooke with her Momma. I have always told Brooke if she looks as good as her Momma when she is her Momma's age, I'll always have a good-looking wife.
09 - Me and the wife of my youth!
10 - Showing off the "Bartholomew good looks"! This is Brooke's brother, Scott (who made a surprise visit for Dad's birthday), her Mom, Brenda...and Brooke.
11 - The Bartholomew Clan - Jill (middle child), Scott (oldest), Brenda, Bill and Brooke (only one under 40)
12 - Brooke's sister, Jill, and her fiance, David Bartlett. David proposed to her while we were there (they were married August 15th).
01 - Amanda playing in MawMaw Brenda's closet. It was hot in there, but she didn't seem to notice.
02 - There was a surprise 70th birthday party for Brooke's Dad at the church. Friends and family were there to celebrate with him.
03 - Here's the golf cart that was on the birthday cake...they got it off before I could take a picture.
04 - Dad's surprise birthday party. Here he is next to his sister, Judy and son, Scott, taking the picture.
05 - Brooke and her sister, Jill, serving at the party.
06 - My nephew, David, is now driving.
07 - Amanda with cousins Hannah and David.
08 - Brooke with her Momma. I have always told Brooke if she looks as good as her Momma when she is her Momma's age, I'll always have a good-looking wife.
09 - Me and the wife of my youth!
10 - Showing off the "Bartholomew good looks"! This is Brooke's brother, Scott (who made a surprise visit for Dad's birthday), her Mom, Brenda...and Brooke.
11 - The Bartholomew Clan - Jill (middle child), Scott (oldest), Brenda, Bill and Brooke (only one under 40)
12 - Brooke's sister, Jill, and her fiance, David Bartlett. David proposed to her while we were there (they were married August 15th).Sunday, August 09, 2009
12 of 12 - June 2009
I can't seem to find online who actually started 12 of 12, but the idea is to take pictures on the 12th of every month and then choose 12 to "keep". At the end of the year, you have your year at a glance. Here is my (late to post) June 12 of 12.
8:21am - Advertisement on the wall in the church foyer for VBS which ended on Friday, June 12th.
8:23am - Sanctuary decorations for VBS.
9:24am - Games at VBS morning rally.
9:58am - This is one of the things I do at VBS...head up clean up!
11:46am - Closing rally at VBS
12:02pm - Another one of the things I do at VBS...music and video
12:29pm - Pastor Matt "taking one for the team"
12:29pm - Miss Victoria. Kids who brought the most food for the food pantry drive during week got to throw a cream pie in their teacher's face.
12:33pm - Some of the week's VBS leaders in front of the giant water slide.
5:50pm - Yes, closing day of VBS was also our anniversary. Amanda made us a card.
5:51pm - June 12, 2009. The day we all (finally) switched over to digital TV. We have AT&T U-Verse so we didn't have to do anything different.
6:00pm - Amanda ended up running a fever today so our plans for her to spend the night at a friend's house for our anniversary changed. Instead, we had a "romantic" family dinner of Long John Silver's at home.
8:21am - Advertisement on the wall in the church foyer for VBS which ended on Friday, June 12th.
8:23am - Sanctuary decorations for VBS.
9:24am - Games at VBS morning rally.
9:58am - This is one of the things I do at VBS...head up clean up!
11:46am - Closing rally at VBS
12:02pm - Another one of the things I do at VBS...music and video
12:29pm - Pastor Matt "taking one for the team"
12:29pm - Miss Victoria. Kids who brought the most food for the food pantry drive during week got to throw a cream pie in their teacher's face.
12:33pm - Some of the week's VBS leaders in front of the giant water slide.
5:50pm - Yes, closing day of VBS was also our anniversary. Amanda made us a card.
5:51pm - June 12, 2009. The day we all (finally) switched over to digital TV. We have AT&T U-Verse so we didn't have to do anything different.
6:00pm - Amanda ended up running a fever today so our plans for her to spend the night at a friend's house for our anniversary changed. Instead, we had a "romantic" family dinner of Long John Silver's at home.
12 of 12 - May 2009
This month's 12 of 12 actually took place "on or around" May 12th. I left to visit my best friend and roommate from college, Craig, in Michigan on the 12th. These pictures began on the 12th and continued through the time I was with Craig.
01 - Leaving from DFW
02 - Amanda seeing me off at the airport
03 - Amanda gave me this little Zebra to take with me on my trip. She wanted me to take pictures with him in it while I was gone. Here is his picture next to the Sky Mall magazine on the plane.
04 - This is the Macinac Bridge. Pretty cool because I saw an episode of Dirty Jobs where they serviced this bridge. Imagine changing the bulb on the light at the top of this bridge!
05 - Here is Zebra sitting on the shore of one of the Great Lakes. The Macinac Bridge is in the background.
06 - This is Craig's church...New Horizon's Church of the Nazarene in Pickford, Michigan.
07 - It was Teen Service week when I was there. This is Pastor Craig using his Sylvester Stalone accent with one of his youth who talked with an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.
08 - BIG MEN. This is me and my best friend, Craig.
09 - This is Zebra at some sand dunes we found while geocaching.
10 - Craig and Kaylee at the bottom of a big sand dune.
11 - Zebra with a geocache we found.
12 - Kaylee finding a geocache.
01 - Leaving from DFW
02 - Amanda seeing me off at the airport
03 - Amanda gave me this little Zebra to take with me on my trip. She wanted me to take pictures with him in it while I was gone. Here is his picture next to the Sky Mall magazine on the plane.
04 - This is the Macinac Bridge. Pretty cool because I saw an episode of Dirty Jobs where they serviced this bridge. Imagine changing the bulb on the light at the top of this bridge!
05 - Here is Zebra sitting on the shore of one of the Great Lakes. The Macinac Bridge is in the background.
06 - This is Craig's church...New Horizon's Church of the Nazarene in Pickford, Michigan.
07 - It was Teen Service week when I was there. This is Pastor Craig using his Sylvester Stalone accent with one of his youth who talked with an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.
08 - BIG MEN. This is me and my best friend, Craig.
09 - This is Zebra at some sand dunes we found while geocaching.
10 - Craig and Kaylee at the bottom of a big sand dune.
11 - Zebra with a geocache we found.
12 - Kaylee finding a geocache.Wednesday, August 05, 2009
I Don't Drink Beer
Becoming a Grown Up
We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice - that is, until we have stopped saying "It got lost" and say, "I lost it."
- Sydney J. Harris (1917 - 1986)
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