Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Why I'm Voting Democrat

I'm voting Democrat because: I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I'm voting Democrat because: I believe three or four elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

I'm voting Democrat because: I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that paying $4.00 a gallon or more is no reason to drill for the mountain of oil we are sitting on in THIS country. We wouldn't want to have to move a couple of Polar bears now would we?

I'm voting Democrat because: when we pull out of Iraq, I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now
think we're good people.

I'm voting Democrat because: I like it when planes fly into buildings full of civilians. I want to see more of that.

I'm voting Democrat because: I don't want a stimulus check to spend. Let the government spend it for me.


I'm voting Democrat because: freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I'm voting Democrat because: I love the fact that I can now marry
whatever I want. I'm going to marry my brother.

I'm voting Democrat because: I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that when the terrorists don't have to hide from us over there, when they come over here I don't want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.

I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that churches should only be allowed for political speeches.


I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the employees.

I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that I don't want Doctors who were at the top of their classes to operate on me. I want a government employee who makes $50k a year and couldn't hack it as a contractor or an engineer.


I'm voting Democrat because: I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I'm voting Democrat because: I REALLY believe there is no bias in the media.

I'm all for CHANGE!!!

2 comments:

Jason said...

You've persuaded me!! I'll be voting Democrat now too.

Hilarious!!

Ken said...

Ok Rob fess up. You been sniffing those paint fumes today right? hahahahahahah
Ken